Friday, 15 May 2009

Who was going to cut my lawn, the cat?

I had really hoped it was a joke, but no:

And I say "necessary" because there is an enormous difference between having a widescreen television, and repairing the central heating. I never had a television in my second home throughout my 17 years as an MP. I never had a washing machine – I borrowed somebody else's. I got the crockery from my brother's old vicarage, but each room was painted once, and the exterior twice.

When you are spending most of your time in London, you have to pay for someone to cut the grass. Who else was going to cut my grass? The cat?


This is that paragon of Conservative virtue, Ann Widdicombe. Can you smell the foetid sense of entitlement?

Ann, let me explain this to you slowly: my employer expects me to spend lots of time away from home, perhaps not as much as you, but still, a significant amount. I have a small garden. Now, here comes the crucial bit: my employer does not reimburse me for gardening costs while I am away from home. Funnily enough, if my central heating packs up, my employer says "necessary or not, I'm not fucking paying for that!"

What the cunting fuck do you think the taxpayer is, a fucking money tree? I would kick you in your fat cunt if I wasn't so scared I'd lose my shoe, you arrogant, overweening fucking money-grubbing whore.

Update: Ambush Predator is slightly more polite.

12 comments:

K. MacEgan said...

She speaks very highly of you Oboe.

Perry Neeham said...

Like you Obnoxio I have to spend most days away from home during the week. My boss expects me to put up with the problems that this throws up in return for paying me a little more than half of an MP's salary (and no bloody final salary pension either).

They just don't fucking get it do they?

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

Whilst being no great fan of the Diddywoman myself, I did hear her make a very valid point the other day. Her comment was that, should MP's expenses be limited too much, we'll only get either the independently wealthy, or Trade Union backed quislings entering Parliament anyway - and to me that's potentially far worse than the current situation, it would be like going straight back to the '70s.

(She didn't refer to them as quislings by the way)

Rob said...

Of course the cat cannot be expected to cut the lawn - the cat is already on the payroll as a political adviser, on £30k a year.

Working Hours Directive and all that!

Obnoxio The Clown said...

@Fidel: I have no problem what so ever with MP's claiming for legitimate expenses. The issue here is that they have all been taking the piss.

I wouldn't give a shit if they claimed £100,000 a year ... AS LONG AS THEY COULD PROVE THAT IT WAS IN THE PERFORMANCE OF THEIR JOBS.

davidncl said...

@Cuntstruck

If you think the Labour party isn't just a bunch of union funded quisslings then you don't know much about the funding of the Labour party. See for example (0.2 seconds googling) Telegraph story

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

@davidncl

"If you think the Labour party isn't just a bunch of union funded quisslings then you don't know much about the funding of the Labour party. See for example (0.2 seconds googling) Telegraph story"

Gosh... do you know.. I'd never have thought of that

davidncl said...

Did ya mate? So what was the point of your comment above?

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

@davidncl:So what was the point of your comment above?

Obviously beyond you

Margaret said...

Your foul language lets you down, and detracts from your argument.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Fuck off, you sanctimonious twat.

2E1HSB said...

May be just a touch too late to comment on this, but your ability to froth at the mouth and still be perfectly rational, is awe-inspiring. I love you!

I live in the area with the MP who bought that bloody Duck House!