As though these are the only two options. Listen love, you're well tasty and I'd gladly bend you over the sofa and give you a good seeing-to, but leave the thinking to the grown-ups, OK?
In the meantime, may I suggest another option that BBC news-twats might do well to think upon as a default position for all their statist pandering?
Why doesn't the government just get the fuck out of people's lives for a change? Let people who want a fucking drink, have a fucking drink. It's none of your God-damned motherfucking business if people want to drink.