Saturday, 4 July 2009

What a tit!

Last night the barbie managed to "pop" a piece of charcoal that spat out of the fire and burnt my nipple. Not a pretty sight.

Do I:

  1. Ignore it?
  2. Apply some antiseptic cream?
  3. Go see a doctor?
  4. Call for an ambulance?
  5. Annex the Sudetenland and invade Poland?


Answers on a postcard, please!

20 comments:

Chalcedon said...

2

Plus a light dressing (do not allow sweat or whatever to build up). Use a light gauze.

microdave said...

"3. Go see a doctor?"

Since your doctors surgery can't even manage a repeat prescription request, I can't see any point in this course of action.

Try an old remedy - apply a large plaster, or bandage if you can manage it, with plenty of honey. Leave it alone for a week, and it will be as good as new!

There has been some recent research which confirms the antiseptic & healing properties of this traditional remedy.

Martin said...

Claim for incapacity benefit, never work again and then suplement your new income with 6 bastard children.

Brewblogger said...

In future a full risk assessment should be carried out before attempting to engage in such dangerous activity. Full protective clothing should be worn, including high visibility jackets and both the a fire engine and an ambulance should be on standby. All as laid down in the European Directive on cooking outside your home.
On the plus side at least we were spared a photo of the injury, unlike Old Holborns partial thumboptomy earlier in the week.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

@Martin, I've already got one child that I'm not sure is mine, I don't need another five!

@Brewblogger, so what you're saying is you want to see a photo of my tit? :o>

JuliaM said...

"Leave it alone for a week, and it will be as good as new!"

And if it rots and drops off, well, you weren't planning on using it, were you? ;)

Snowolf said...

6 - Take a photo and send it to a gay fetish website.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Wire brush and dettol.

Serves you right for swanning around in the nude anyway! Could have been worse, you could have BBQ'd your chipolata.

Mark Wadsworth said...

1 and 2 in combination.

Your Supreme Commander said...

Annex the Sudetenland and invade Poland.

Because it's the right thing to do in these turbulent global economic times, which started in America.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

@Snowolf ... already done. :o)

Angry Exile said...

Brush lightly with oil and do the other side for two minutes, serve with salad and some ranch dressing.

Lexander said...

Hope you have learned your lesson: always wear a fireproof vest when i/c BBQ. Best to get the au pair to do cooking. Treatment for burnt nipple: Savlon or Germoline. Or cut it off cos men do not really need them. Regards.

Pavlov's Cat said...

No. 2

and you want to use Acriflex Burn Cream , not Savlon or Germoline

Lexander said...

Now I know why my various burns always scarred! Is it still alright to use savlon or germoline (love the smell) on sore members? lol

john miller said...

You could always audition for the part of Scarmanga.

john miller's dog said...

fuck it! Scaramanga

Henry North London said...

Get a vitamin e capsule, mix with turmeric into nice paste Apply to wound and cover with dry dressing.

tape and repeat after 24 hours.

You will be left with virtually no permanent scarring.

Please try it You'll be amazed at how easily it repairs itself.

Anonymous said...

Options 1, 2 and 3 are clearly irrelevant. And 4 is a bit wimpy, so it clearly has to be 5 - Annex the Sudetenland and invade Poland.

If you happen to get defeated by the allies and brought in front of a tribunal you can argue that you were suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and so weren't really aware of what you were doing.

Uncle_Bens_Grill said...

BBQs are D A N G E R O U S!
Im sure Nulab could invent some law protecting your nipple against further mishaps. Maybe a fine?