In order to secure the votes of wavering Democrats, House leaders Nancy Pelosi and Henry Waxman inserted several last minute amendments to the legislation, including provisions for national oxygen rationing, witch burnings, dousings, and phrenology research. But the one that has seemingly stoked a grassroots backlash is the controversial Sexually Inexperienced Citizen Environmental Volunteer Amendment. The wording of the amendment calls for all American virgins over the age of 21 to register with the Selective Sacrifice Board, for random use as victims in nationally televised vivisections intended to "supplicate the Earth-Spirits."
Tip of the clown wig to the lovely Bella, resplendent in her hawaiian shirt and fanny pack, telling us all what a great little country we have here. :o)