Saturday, 19 September 2009

Air travel, again!

Just got back from Malta. What a fucking blast that was.The trip back wasn't too bad, even though I knew I'd be seeing the inside of that hellhole called Heathrow again.

But two things stood out for me:

1. The Air Malta breakfast consisted of scrambled eggs, beans and a snorker. Well, I assume it was a snorker. Because it really did look so much like a shrivelled up penis that I just couldn't eat it.

2. We got "racked and stacked" over Heathrow for 20 fucking minutes. That's 20 fucking minutes of totally needless, wasted flight that achieved nothing for anyone but the avgas supplier. Which "Green" cunt wants to tell me that we don't already need more runways, or more capacity in some way, shape or form?

Of course, it being fucking Heathrow, once we'd landed, we spent another 20 fucking minutes taxiing via the London Eye, Windsor and the Isle of fucking Wight before we docked with the terminal, so that we could then enjoy the 12-mile hike to collect our bags and get the fuck out of there.

Bliss!

PS The whole of Malta's airside seems to have free WiFi. Which I thought was pretty cool.

3 comments:

aljahom said...

Hey Obo...

I saw this and thought of you..

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Week-Airport-Heathrow-Diary/dp/1846683599?&camp=2486&creative=10526&linkCode=waf&tag=boataanddemet-21

You're not... Alain de Bottom, are you?

Paul said...

Yeah, that's the problem with flying these days. A lot of uncomfortableness, stupidity and general nastiness all round. Everyone's horribly tetchy and stressed because it is really quite threatening.

The Maltese are absolutely lovely people and aren't stupid either - they know that Britain is in trouble. Every country in the world knows that Britain is in trouble apart from the British themselves.

John Steed said...

Eid Mubarak, Happy Eid ul Fitr. May you have increased your Noor of Imaan.