Friday, 30 October 2009

Ebay ad of the week

It'll never stay up, so I'm filching it:

Vauxhall Vectra B lexus style lights - well sick yo!!!

WIKKID MAN!!! boooyak
Big showt owt to all dem boiz nd gyals bussin in dem Vectraz. Ere we av sum well rude lexus lites. Propa peng modifiing bruv.

I got dese on my 1.6 LS wot had tintz, a metal spoila, neonz on da roof and my main man Lostboi angin owt da back till e got busted 4 robbing Dave's nan. Ne way it wos wicked. So now u can b rollin wiv dese 4 shizzle and all your bad manz in da back.



Dey has got a few lite scratches wot dont really show up wen u doin 90 round maccy d's carpark, but i thort I'd rite about dem anywayz cos I dont want non of u internet playaz hatin' on me and cussin ma boiz on da youtube. Ya getz me? All da bulbs iz on da back as well, wiv sum plugs or some ova white boi sh*t 4 the electrikz 2 go down.

Dey will be posted wiv da Royal Mail Posse (postman pat I fink, if he iz still rollin wiv dat black pussy), or if u iz local u can get dem for free innit from ma crib.

Pay wiv paypal so u is safe bruv.

Question & Answer
Q: u c i is in cornwall an dey wud lyk look siikk on my tractor bruv. Postman pats on fukkin strike yo! I'll by dem if you deliver lyk my pizza manz yeh? Respek
A: wer is dat corn-wall? iz dat da wall wot dem roman-niggaz bilt wiv corn 2 keep owt da scouse-manz from scotzlandz? ma boi jermaine did bout dis in histori at skool but i woz rownd da bike shedz sniffin glu 2 give a sh*t

Q: yo yo yo those lights banging bruv why u seeling them they is wicked wooyacka sha
A: i iz makin sum bigga lites owt of cardbord & tin foilz man. also i carnt afford ma new rotty till i getz sum $$$

Q: Yo bruv, howz it goin yeh bruva. U nah dat postmanz pat from the red mail posse iz currentlyz on strike actions cos he will be chillin out at crib wid his lil black pussy. I herd she calld Jess u na. U tink u cud gt dese sent out by the yellow posse who link da citis insted bruva?
A: yeh man or liek dem ups homeboiz wot krooz rownd in da brown vanz. i mean brown az a color not az in dey is dealin brown... ya deer?

Q: Can you speak english? What language are you typing in anyway because i don't understand you.
A: wot u chatin abowt m8? its inglish! jus coz u iz sum posh boi from chester or ne of dem ova plaices neer london duzznt mean u iz da bad man. if u fink talkin all posh iz da peng den just waite till u iz in a drivebi & see wher it getz u dan! BLAM BLAM

Q: I say! Those motor-car parts do look super! You Cockneys and your witty slang! If a chap was to purchase said parts for said chap's butler as a small birthday present, would the parts 'shizzle' Tompkin's 'Pizzle?'
A: Why most certainly my good fellow. He would most definitely be "big pimping" as he "rolled with his bee hatches".

Q: 'A 'A BUV dems rear sparks r da-snizzle wel-roode innit !!!! 'as u c i is only in Derby innit woud cum un git 'em if i won But Notts is well doug-ruf 4 'us Derby hood ganzta's cud u do u a fav and meet us @ maccy in Stabo. cum alone un i'll bring de foldin' --- noe funny biz tho'
A: der iz no maccys in stabbo but ile meet u at top shopz at phil potz owse!!!

Q: Yo Yo, If I get me grinda to me Corsa, do you fink I can Stick dese on it so me is looking like da propa gangsta with a corsa vectra... Word
A: N*GGA DER IS GUNFIRE IN UR USER NAME! TAKE FUKKEN COVA

Q: wel sick blud brap brap brap wot is UR bye it now
A: I wont a copy of dat new cd wotz called Council Estayte R&B 7 if u got it

Q: I say old boy, does one think totty will like them?
A: One might hypothesise that a female of the species would be positively orgasmic at the sight of 5-year old stick-on rammel attatched to the back of your plush Opel.

Q: demz well sik bruv mit av to bi dem even tho i gota voxall ashtray jus to ang em in me garage ya no
A: wire dem up 2 ur doorbel on halluwein so dey lite up liek a devil wen da kids cum nocking! den u can rob all their haribo and sell it to da peedos on www.bttos.com

Q: Gosh, I dont know what that languaue is but it sounds jolly exotic. Would those rather spiffing light clusters fit my Bentley Continental GT old chap?
A: Tally-ho old Bean! That sounds like a most splendid idea, although they could get you kicked out of the polo club! Furthermore I digress my dear badger; they might spoil your camouflage when you're out shooting pheasants. What-ho.

Q: lol this advert is well funny made me laugh for ages hope u get a good price x
A: I HOPE U GET A GOOD PRYCE 2 DARLIN. JUST DONT TAKE NO SHIT OFF NE1 AND IF DA 5-0 COME THEN SAY U WOZ JUST TALKIN 2 THE GUY ND CALL DA COPPAZ MUM A HO IF DEY TRY AND PIN IT ON U.

Q: wodup blud, i aintz got no dollar, wud ya gimme dem for quarter of da green stuff init? dey luk wikid, i wanna stik dem on ma nova deyre dat gud, a can cum to ya crib to get dem, i got to lend a tenner of my ma first doe to get some pecky, ya dig?
A: EASY NOW BRUV, SIGN ME ON2 YOUR GIRO AND WE IZ SORTED LOL

Q: Bruv, dey iz well wikkid innit! Me iz rollin' wiv my bois in a Mini Metro (well wikkid innit!) an u az got me finkin' that I az got 2 get me a Vectra after seein' dem blingin' wikkid lites bruv. Now speakin' as a bruv to a bruv, shud I go 4 speed (wikkid) wiv a 1.6 or shud I play it safe (we luvs it safe bruv, cept my boi Trevor who iz well in dem crap by gettin' his Julie up dem duff innit!) wiv a 1.7 TD? Its got its Turbo innit, but respek to the fuel economy, no wot I mean bruv? U clearly r da bruv wiv da info, so lay it down for me, cos I has got to have dem lites in my life innit bruv. Wikkid.
A: naaaaaaaah man! dey dont work on a diezil cuz du electrikz is diffurent on dem!!! dey only fit a 1.6 LS man metros are propa sik as well m8, but I thort u had 2 run dem on train trax? how is u gonna steer dat on a road?

Q: Eazy noaw! me is tinkin of byen dese lites init, but wot me wants ta no is, is it gona get me da biches, i as nads like 2 dogs in sacks init and me keeps trippin ova dem so i needs sumfink to get me da biches to elp me empti em, ye get me bruv. respek init Oi by de way me is a genuin geeza init, no messin. Boo-yaka-sha !!!!!!!!!!!!
A: my m8 charlene az got a quim like a hippo's yorn, u cud always smash dat? 20 lamburts nd she is urzzz m8!!!!!!!11

Q: iz daves nan a wel fit milf????? my bruz sayz u don her n dave put da vid on u tube!!!!
A: She's mingin bruv. Trust. Lostboi clocked a pie in her bagz so he whacked her on da ed n robbed dat hoe

Q: Oi Cuz theze iz Bad Man ting, standard. Iz it true they givez more powerz? I also fink they give you drift skillz, is it tru? Sick Won
A: drift skillz is wot its all abowt. me mate raykwon az got da bomb Saxo wot duz driftworks championshipz. Its like da sapport class wot duz it alongside da main event but in da car parc. he aint 2 well since he lost da back end and took out matalan

Q: Best ebay advert ever innit bruv.... I havent even got a vectra but you make me wanna bid on them!! Respek.
A: u need a vectra, believe! fiddy roles in a sri wen he is in a hurry and da hummer just dont cut it. niggaz is all about da vectra. if u lissin real careful u here him say "wood grain on da dash" in most of his rhymez. i had da wood grain.

Q: deze lyts r rood u gt a by it nw ?
A: 10 bag geez

Q: Respec, yo. I iz finkin abat gettin the lytes from yo crib yo. Duz I need 2 bring a shootah wiv me? Peace out yo.
A: SUP BRUV! bring ya shootah, i haz got a tek-9, but it iz only a plastik wun from da pound shop wot charmaine robbed 4 me.

11 comments:

Oleuanna said...

I bet they are whitenogs.... *laughing my fucking arse off* and shuddering....

Shizzle Televizzle said...

"wiv sum plugs or some ova white boi sh*t". Brilliant, yo big propz to da clown rolin on dubz takin cova from da 5-0, rippin' rhymez offa da bay

John Steed said...

Trail and tribulation pon I bredrin. Jah.

I am Stan said...

What the fuck are people talking about..
speak english for fucks sake.

Anonymous said...

you didn't really type all that out did you? I don't see the point. Maybe you are crazy?

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Ladies and gentlemen: we have a winner!

microdave said...

While there are illiterate morons like that eating and breathing in this country we are truly fucked.

I would dearly love to see them all rounded up in a quarry, and the Top Gear team let loose with some really big dump trucks.....

Joe Public said...

I bet he's bright enough to get the cheque to clear, before he releases the goods.

Laban said...

more messages :

Q: Hi Mate, Where abouts in Kirkby do you live. Cheers
A: kirkby? i iz in nottz man. aspley!!


Q: Wattagwan blud, deese tings are da cheese mate, dey are fatta dan wen dillinja pleyd da-bomb innit. Jus won ting i gots to no bruv, how much faster dus it...more
A: sneinton dayle is da bomb sh*t n*gga, my man boswah works at da burger king innit. dem manz got beef.



Q: Do these lights work? Brother, Ahem.
A: Yes Dan

Anonymous said...

I bet it's a joke and Obo the clown did it.

wh00ps said...

my eyes tend to glaze over when i see that kind of "inglish" so I hope you appreciate the effort i had to put in... It was worth It though: hilarious!