Thursday, 28 January 2010

People are cunts

I have been studying this matter for some time now, and I can only conclude that people, for all their inherent good qualities, are quite easily led into the paths of utter cuntishness. And underneath it all, they know they are doing wrong, but they still do it. Let me give you a small example:

People have, over the last 25 years, become more and more accustomed to the idea that someone will tidy up behind them. I suspect that my daughter's friends regard me as some kind of ogre, because I not only insist that she keeps her room clean (which same she is actually doing, at last!) but I expect her to clean up the mess she makes around the house.

But if you set foot outside my house, then it becomes apparent that all sorts of people have come to expect that someone will tidy up behind them: sweet wrappers, sandwich packaging, empty bags of crisps and crisp-alikes, empty cans and beer bottles are left on the pavement for the cleaning fairies, along with a heady mixture of gobs of sputum and enormous, vile-smelling dog turds. In the back of their minds, they know it's wrong, so instead of slinging their waste into my garden, the little scrotes instead shove it into the hedge on the end of my property, so that by the end of a week, it looks like a very curious marvel of genetic engineering: a Griselinia Littoralis that has somehow managed to grow beer cans, sandwich packs, a wide variety of Walkers crisps and Aero wrappers: verily, all four major food groups off one shrub!

They fucking know that they shouldn't throw rubbish into my garden, so they fucking don't. But somehow, it's OK to drop shit in the street, because the Caaahncil will sort it out, innit? And if it blows into my garden after they're off the scene, well, it's not their fault, innit? If they stuff their rubbish into my hedge, that's OK, because it doesn't show. And I could pretend to understand, but for the fact that there is a rubbish bin at either end of the street, which is not that long. And if their home is between either end of the street, then why can they not fucking carry their rubbish till they get fucking home?

But that's mostly just lazy kids, well, apart from the cunting beer cans, anyway. Since you have to be visibly an OAP to buy a fucking beer nowadays, I can only assume that the fuckers who are dumping their beer cans in my garden are fucking old enough to know better.

As are the sainted gobshites walking their fucking hallowed dogs every day. Listen, you're fucking old enough to need a fucking walking stick or push a fucking pram while you're walking your four-legged shit machine, FUCKING CLEAN UP BEHIND THE FUCKING FILTHY FUCKING THING YOU FUCKING LAZY FUCKING CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE FUCKING COUNCIL DOES NOT COME ROUND FIVE FUCKING TIMES A FUCKING A DAY TO FUCKING SPRAY DOWN THE FUCKING PAVEMENT SO THAT YOU DON'T FUCKING HAVE TO FUCKING WORRY ABOUT IT, YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER ARSEHOLE CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHA....British people are funny and lazy.

BTS said...

Has your daughter finally washed her sheets too? I'll be around later..

BenS said...

Ah. Good morning.

Anonymous said...

dog shit on the pavement pisses me right off, I think if you catch an owner letting their dog shit in the street and not cleaning it up, you should be able to come round their house and turd one out through their letterbox, see how they like it. or they can eat the dog's egg, either is fine for me. wankers.

BTS said...

You'll be wanting a paper bag and a lighter to get the full effect from that one Anon..

Because we're young said...

nice one BTS, sorry wasn't supposed to be anon I forgot to log in. that is a classic move you're suggesting there

Erbert said...

Touched a nerve with me this one, dog shit on pavements. Our council even put a fucking green bin on a lampost by the footpath so the poor precious darlings can offload their poo bags as soon as possible but no, this is way too convenient for these inconsiderate fuckwits. Some of these utter cunts even scoop their dog shit up and bag it then throw the fucking bag on the floor!!! What the fuck?? What kind of retards are these people?

I'm reminded of a song by The Cramps, "People Aint No Good"....

"Yeah people are just a waste. They're all over the place. Ya see 'em everywhere ya go. And I don't like their face."

Yes, quite.

The Boiling Frog said...

I see I'm not the only one with the litter / hedge problem. I've yet to catch the culprits who do that to my hedge but it's only a matter of time...

Uncle Marvo said...

I was in London not too long ago, and saw a Japanese (I have nothing against Sushi) spit chewing gum on to the pavement. I told him to pick it up and put it into the bin. He pretended not to hear. I told him again, so he couldn't help hearing. He ignored me. I told him a third time, adding that if he wanted to tip shit in the streets of Tokyo he was welcome to, but this was the country I came into through no fault of my own and he really was well-advised to pick it up. He made to walk off so I was left with no choice but to explain to him that what the Yanks did to Hiroshima was as nothing compared to the havoc I was prepared to wreak on his bollocks in the next few seconds. He picked it up.

I was lucky that time. He was a lot stouter than I, and younger, and fitter. And probably a master of Origami or something. I must learn to shut up.

Anonymous said...

In the would be, could be pleasant litle burgh that I inhabit, and I live on the main drag, the local council has seen fit to install bins about every 50 yards. It has made precious little difference to be honest. The patrons of the local kebab joint and chippy and pizza take away quite happily sit on one of the benches in the main drag or even in their cars to consume their "carry out" and then dump the not always empty packaging where they sit or out of the window before driving away. Empty cans, glasses and bottles are also not uncommon, as we have two pubs and an offie. And anyone thinking the culprits were just "the youth" would be slightly off-beam. Hereabouts a significant majority seem to regard their litter as someone else's problem. And this burgh always but always returns a Tory to Westminster.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid that after living 12 years in the Netherlands, against all my previous inclinations, I came to the conclusion that the British - not all but a significant number - are a dirty, lazy, drunken bunch of morons.

BTS said...

And who are also currently looking forward to ruining the crisp, clean linen in Obo's daughter's room..

bayard said...

It's sheer laziness: the problem is that very few parents are like you, Obo and most can't be arsed to have a row with their children often enough to make them tidy up after themselves. So the children get the idea that there's always someone else to tidy up, but they know it's wrong because of the few rows the parents do have.

Grillo said...

Dog owners are morons. All of them. Without exception.

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

You forgot to say...

"I don't belieeeeve it"

Shug Niggurath said...

A friend of mine was telling me about new neighbours who moved into the street. They never put their bins out on week one. So he watched and sure enough, week 2, no bins.

So he walked over to their house and told them to get their act together as he had no intention of living a street with any overflowing bins.

The point only being that this is the problem with our semi-socialist society. No one has any responsibility anymore because the government are here to sort it.