Thursday, 17 June 2010

"... like a swarm of angry hornets ..."

I received an email from someone calling themselves "Czar Chasm":

It's the drone of the Demetriuzela, a near deafening sound, like a swarm of angry hornets, you just can't think straight......

There's uncertainty on the origin of the word "Demetriuzela". Some say it comes from the isiZulu for - wait for it - "making noise". Others say it's from township slang related to the word "knob", because it makes people emitting the sound "sound like a knobhead".

The instrument itself is made of cheap recycled materials, sourced from a local rubbish tip. Demitriuzela supplier Bloggieblast offers this advice:

"Put your cursor inside the comment box and almost make a 'farting' sound. Empty your mind, place a chip firmly on your shoulder and let your angst vibrate inside the comment box. As soon as you get that whining sound, write faster and more frequently until you reach a ridiculously loud 'Demitriuzela blast'.

A near-hysterical Dutch journalist yesterday voiced his intense dislike for the Greek Demitriuzela to blog owner Obnoxio Clownius, asking the world class blogger if it would not be possible for the "noisy and irritating instrument" to be banned before there was mass suicide in the blogosphere.

Displaying the fine-tuned skills of a slippery politician, Obnoxio reminded his inquisitor that he was in blogland and had to accept that the pointless Demitriuzela as part of the local culture.

Regards,

Czar Chasm

A slippery politician? The bloody cheek!

5 comments:

The Grim Reaper said...

Lol, I love it.

Czar Chasm should set up his or her own blog, if the quality of writing here is anything to go by. An excellent piece of work.

Strangely quiet on the blog today so far - no sign of the Demetriuzela yet. Time to get the ear plugs out.

Morlock said...

Demitriuzela: spot on -- that's going to stick ;-)

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Morlock, it might stick, but I'm fucked if I can pronounce it! :o)

Grim, I've asked Czar if they want a guest spot on my blog and hopefully they'll say yes. :o)

Ed P said...

And sucking on a Demetriuzela makes a strange sort of gurgle known locally as a "bo'ang"

g1lgam3sh said...

Ooh that's got to sting a bit.

That'll larn 'im.