And another thing

Tory MP attends at party where someone else dresses up as a Nazi is sacked from the government to approving murmurs from the left, while Ed Bollocks who actually dressed up as a Nazi is still regarded as entirely acceptable as Chancellor and Shadow Chancellor.

Can anyone explain that to me?

Fucking hell!

You have to admire a blog post that starts off with the words: "Ed Balls, like the other right-wing candidates for the Labour leadership ..."

Let them eat cake

Tip of the clown wig to Old Holborn.

This song is dedicated to my hero, Gordon Brown

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

I just can't get you out of my past
Boy your fuckups are all they think about
I just can't get you out of my past
Boy it's more than I dare to think about

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

I just can't get you out of my past
Boy your fuckups are all they think about
I just can't get you out of my past
Boy it's more than I dare to think about

Every tax, every woe
Just to be free of your harms
Won't you go
Won't you then go forever
And ever and ever and ever

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

I just can't get you out of my past
Boy your fuckups are all they think about
I just can't get you out of my past
Boy it's more than I dare to think about

There's a dark secret in me
Don't leave me locked in your past
Set me free
Let me Leader be
Set me free
Go forever
And ever and ever and ever

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

I just can't get you out of my past
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
I just can't get you out of my past
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
I just can't get you out of my past
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
I just can't get you out of my past
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

A snigger, maybe a wank

Really Ed, do you really need to teach them this?

I was really amused by this, though:

The SRE guidance will set out the key issues essential to effective SRE, including:

* explaining the challenges and responsibilities of parenthood

This, from the party that has moved heaven and earth to supplant the role of the parent in raising children.

The stench of hypocrisy is fucking sickening.

Talking Balls

Ed Bollocks causes the most curious reaction in me when he opens his fat, arrogant mouth - I'm not sure whether to punch him, garotte him, flay him and roll him in salt or commit suicide. It's a very strange thing.

I mean, just look at this:

All secondary school pupils in England should have the chance to learn a less familiar language such as Mandarin, says Children's Secretary Ed Balls.

Mandarin has become increasingly popular in schools - with one in seven now teaching the subject.

Making it more widely available is an "aspiration" rather than a pledge - and could mean schools and colleges sharing specialist language teaching staff.

Mr Balls highlighted the economic importance of learning languages.

As well as Mandarin, he pointed to the growing importance of Portuguese for trading with Brazil, Spanish in Argentina and Bahasa Indonesia in Indonesia.

Er, Bollocksy, on your fucking watch, language teaching has fallen off a cliff, your fucking soundbite kowtowing notwithstanding. This makes me want to punch him in the mouth.

"In this new decade our ties with emerging economies like China will become even more important and it's vital that young people are equipped with the skills which they need, and British businesses need too, in order to succeed in a rapidly-changing world," he said.

This fucking fatuous inanity after a decade spent destroying education makes me want to fucking garotte him. How about fucking being able to read, write and do fucking maths you CUNT!? Those are fucking skills that British business need too, you don't seem to give a flying fuck about that.

For the most popular languages at GCSE, French and German, take-up declined in England by 45% and 46% respectively between 1997 and 2008.

Mr Cunty Bollocks's fucking endless hypocrisy and smug ignoring of the damage he has personally wrought to British education makes me want to flay him and roll him in salt.

And then I remember that I'm paying for all this shit.

That's when I want to commit suicide.

If there's a nuclear explosion over the UK ...

 ... you'll know where Mark Wadsworth lives. I expect the explosion within nanoseconds of him reading this:

The Prime Minister, backed strongly by Ed Balls, his closest ally, argued that a VAT rise would risk hampering the recovery and that a rise in National Insurance, which would affect wealthy people more, would be a fairer way of convincing the markets that the Government has a plan to cut the record £178 billion budget deficit within four years.

God knows, it's all I can do to keep my own head from going pop ... but I still want to see what the UK looks like when its sovereign debt is regarded as a junk bond.

*Snigger*

Simon Carr lets it all hang out:

On the other, the burly, bruising Edward Balls. The stuttering, finger-jabbing shadow, eyeballs pulsing in time with some interior music. The man who was knocked out of the leadership by the niece of a countess. Someone must pay! (It'll be us in the end.)

An horrific thought

You just know that in his sock drawer, Ed Bollocks has a video of him and the missus playing the beast with two backs.

Just imagine the cum faces.

Have a nice day!

Won't somebody think of the cheeeeeeeeeeldren

People mock when this cynical broadside gets deployed. But really, what is this if it's not "Won't somebody think of the cheeeeeeeeeeldren"?

3 questions about climate change were asked of children and young people across England…

And not a single one of them was "what if AGW is a scientific fraud?" No, instead they were asked:

What do you think that you can do about climate change?

What can people in your local community, government, and the international Copenhagen conference do about it?

What worries you the most about climate change?

And who is it who is indulging in this shameful manipulation of children's opinions? Why, it's the ever-lovely Ed Bollocks and his cuntish crew, who don't have the time to make sure kids are taught how to read, write and do sums, but are definitely brainwashed into believing this guff.

Cunts.

Another Ballsup

The old Ballbag is putting himself about today, isn't he?

Ed Balls, is calling for relatively hefty spending increases elsewhere. Apparently, Balls has asked the Treasury to grant his department – the Department for Children, Schools and Families – real-terms spending increases of 1.4 percent until 2014. That's an extra £2.6 billion in total – and goes beyond previous Labour commitments to "protect" schools spending.

It's a brassy move by Balls and one which is sure to aggravate his colleagues. After all, remember when Labour called Cameron "Mr 10 percent" because the Tory decision to protect health spending implied 20* percent cuts to other budgets? Well, according to the FT, Balls's impromptu request would mean 12 percent cuts for other departments - rising to 20 percent if Labour also protects health spending.

And why is he doing this?

In the end, it's hard not to see this as leadership positioning on Balls's part. Deep down, he must know it's unlikely that he'll get the chance to spend the 2011-2014 schools budget anyway – so this is mostly about striding the post-election landscape as The Man Who Saved Schools From Cuts (until the nasty Tories got in).

Isn't this just the most damning indictment of modern politics? Playing games with the ruined finances of the entire country to "position" yourself for party leadership in 2013 or whatever. And wouldn't it be typical of the uncritical media to let him get away with this shit, too?

This man represents the worst of venal self-interest that is the hallmark of politicians through the ages -- and they are especially fucking unloveable today.

I hope you get face cancer and die a miserable painful death long before you get the chance to "stride the post-election landscape", you unspeakable fuckface.

*I guess this is a typo and should be 10 percent.

Ballsup

Looks like Ed Bollocks has been comprehensively outflanked by his civil "servants":

“The keys to controlling your Minister are travel and distraction”. The aside was pure Sir Humphrey, but based on the Tweeting of Ed Balls, the principle is alive and well.

And just remember, Balls is apparently one of the very smartest men in the Labour Party. Just goes to show: you can be an intelligent fool. Well, he can, anyway.

Often aspired to, but still the best!

Saying so much in so few words again:

Ed Balls, secretary of state for children, said: "We are one step closer to having a clean, pure society where the government fulfils its natural role as a stern but loving parent to all of its subjects.

"We must now turn our focus to removing all trace of the gypsy from our nation's bloodline."

As ever, I am in awe.

Papieren Bitte

What a fucking balls-up:

Teachers will need a "licence to teach" and must renew it every five years or face being banned from the classroom, Ed Balls announced today in a bid to reform schools before the general election.

Jesus, there truly is nothing so utterly fucked that these cunts can't make it ten times worse.

What the fuck does Mr Bollocks think this is going to do for teachers? Where in the fucking world have you ever, EVER heard of such a thing? Teachers, good, bad and indifferent, are just going to look at this and say "fuck off, you simpering cockmaster."

And then we'll have to import teachers like we have to import nurses. Or something.

I'm not really one for extravagant conspiracy theories, but it really, really does look to me like they are trying their level best to utterly destroy this country, doesn't it?

Oh for God's sake!

Just when I think I've been maxed out, when this fucking cretinous bunch of cock-sniffing fucknuggets can't get any more fucking stupid, lo:

It's official: the government is today publishing a bill that will make child poverty illegal.

Now, given that children don't fucking legally have assets or the legal ability to earn income, it's a pretty fucking pointless objective. Jesus fucking Christ, bring back John Major and the Cones Hotline, Ed Bollocks hasn't got a fucking clue.

And the Prime Mentalist reckons this guy is an economic genius. No wonder we're fucked.

Caption competition

Ed Bollocks: "How dare you people question my expenses? Don't you know who I am?"
Yvette "Boy" Cooper: "Leave 'im Ed, 'e's not worff it!"

A kick in the Balls

Oh dear, poison is dripping, well, spurting -- left, right and centre:

ED BALLS, the schools secretary, used Damian McBride, the disgraced spin doctor, to smear ministerial rivals and advance his own ambitions, a Downing Street whistleblower has claimed.

In an explosive new twist to the e-mail affair, a No 10 insider has revealed that Balls was the mastermind behind a “dark arts” operation by McBride to undermine colleagues.

He claims the education secretary is running a destabilising “shadow operation” inside Downing Street to clear his path for the party leadership if Labour loses the next election.

The insider said: “There is now an operation within an operation at No 10 and it answers to Ed Balls.”

Apart from the meta-irony of it all, does this not sound like ferrets in a sack, or what?

I foresee huge amounts of guilty blinking in upcoming interviews...

Medical therapy

I’m sorry to lapse into such relatively uncharacteristic bad language, but Balls is an ignorant, arrogant, fuck-wit tosser. What a total prick. This is the blame culture. This is how Stalin did it. If people need "retraining" clearly they got it wrong and must be sent off to the Gulag. What the fuck is the National College for School Leadership going to do to protect children at risk? Come to think about it, what the fuck is the National College for School Leadership? Does Balls really think that social services chiefs need to go on a course to be “more aware of the pressures their staff are under”? What a complete arsehole this man is.

Nurse! The screens, please!

Sounds like a whore ...

She is spreading herself around at the moment and doing some dumb things.

From the Telegraph, via Mrs Dale.

Here we go again...

Ed Bollocks told us all that lessons had been learned, didn't he? So what's all this then?

An investigation has been launched into a council's children services amid fears of another Baby P-style tragedy.

The deaths of seven children in Doncaster have prompted ministers to order an inquiry, only a month after Ofsted rated the South Yorkshire authority's provision for children as “inadequate”.

Serious case reviews into the deaths of three of the seven children have already been made public. One report found a “chaotic and dangerous” situation within the team of social workers in charge of the case of a 10-month-old boy who died in the town in December 2007.

I think if I hear one more Labour drone use the phrase "lessons learned", I'll be over there to get his head on a pike. Innocent people are being killed due to inept bungling cunts.

Heads must roll.