Monday, 26 January 2009

We really ARE so fucked

Completely plagiarised from Raedwald:

Have you paid a parking fine recently? Got three points on your licence? Been formally warned by the council for your bin protruding on the footway? (yep, I have had the £1,000 fine threat on the last one) Been suspended from your Sunday football league for rough tackling? (yes, seriously) Congratulations! Your records could soon be added to a pan-European database of subversives. This EU Council decision of 20th January on the establishment of a pan-EU 'criminal' database includes the following 'offences' :-
  • Offences related to waste
  • Unintentional environmental offences
  • Insult of the State, Nation or State symbols
  • Insult or resistance to a representative of public authority
  • Public order offences, breach of the public peace
  • Revealing a secret or breaching an obligation of secrecy
  • Unintentional damage or destruction of property
  • Offences against migration law - an "Open category" (offences undefined thus all encompassing)
  • Offences against military obligations - an "Open category" (offences undefined thus all encompassing)
  • Unauthorised entry or residence
  • Other offences an "Open category" (offences undefined thus all encompassing)
  • Other unintentional offences
  • Prohibition from frequenting some places
  • Prohibition from entry to a mass event
  • Placement under electronic surveillance ("fixed or mobile" - eg: home, car, mobile phone etc)
  • Withdrawal of a hunting / fishing license
  • Prohibition to play certain games/sports
  • Prohibition from national territory
  • Personal obligation - an "Open category" (offences undefined thus all encompassing)
  • "Fine" - all fines. inc minor non-criminal offences
All those of us who have ever accidentally spilled a cupful of diesel in the water when refuelling, dropped a piece of litter or called the EU circle of stars a fascist and totalitarian symbol are now, officially, criminals. Welcome to the club.

We really are completely and utterly fucked.

Update: Via the Islander, these:

Fuck off, you cunts!


Islander said...

Oo er, that be me fucked then:

"Beat them round the head repeatedly with an iron bar if they can't take a joke"

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

Not much different from my normal then.

Anonymous said...

This is totally misleading. Read the whole document carefully. Or is it easier just to throw acid? This just establishes a protocol for information exchange. It does not establish new laws in the UK.

Ron said...

I am so sick of these Nazi Euro cunts. Why can't they just fuck off and leave us alone? I am British. I will always be British. I piss on the European Union and all its works.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

This just establishes a protocol for information exchange.

That's fine and dandy, but why do they have all these categories? And why do they want to interchange data in such a complex fashion? Unless you're doing a mass and regular interchange, this is a major overkill.

So even if the categories themselves are not the story, what is this all about?

cartermagna said...

@Islander. Those EU flags are the mutt's nuts. Excellent work.

@Anonymong. This just establishes a protocol for information exchange. It does not establish new laws in the UK.

Sure it does. You've heard the salami theory right? It's a stepping stone. The thin end of the wedge. Previous UK parliaments have resisted this type of thing, databases for databases sake, because there is nothing to stop future administrations from abusing them.

Harry Haddock said...

This just establishes a protocol for information exchange. It does not establish new laws in the UK.

Europhile doublespeak at it's best. So, it establishes a protocol that will require a UK law change.

File under ~ lies(EU), next to 'The EEC is only a trade agreement, anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot', copyright Edward Heath, or 'The vote to stay in the EU was always going to end up with integration. That was obvious', also copyright Edward Heath.

Aaaahhh, Europhiles. Don't ya just love them?

JuliaM said...

"This is totally misleading. Read the whole document carefully. Or is it easier just to throw acid? "

It's holy water you throw at the minions of Satan, isn't it? Not acid...

Old Holborn said...

@Anonymong. This just establishes a protocol for information exchange. It does not establish new laws in the UK.

Why does a nylon pants wearing, overweight sweaty moustached cop in El Fleapit, Spain need to know if I put too much salt on my chips?

The Penguin said...

The Secret People

Smile at us, pay us, pass us; but do not quite forget;
For we are the people of England, that never have spoken yet.
There is many a fat farmer that drinks less cheerfully,
There is many a free French peasant who is richer and sadder than we.
There are no folk in the whole world so helpless or so wise.
There is hunger in our bellies, there is laughter in our eyes;
You laugh at us and love us, both mugs and eyes are wet:
Only you do not know us. For we have not spoken yet.

The fine French kings came over in a flutter of flags and dames.
We liked their smiles and battles, but we never could say their names.
The blood ran red to Bosworth and the high French lords went down;
There was naught but a naked people under a naked crown.
And the eyes of the King's Servants turned terribly every way,
And the gold of the King's Servants rose higher every day.
They burnt the homes of the shaven men, that had been quaint and kind,
Till there was no bed in a monk's house, nor food that man could find.
The inns of God where no man paid, that were the wall of the weak.
The King's Servants ate them all. And still we did not speak.

And the face of the King's Servants grew greater than the King:
He tricked them, and they trapped him, and stood round him in a ring.
The new grave lords closed round him, that had eaten the abbey's fruits,
And the men of the new religion, with their bibles in their boots,
We saw their shoulders moving, to menace or discuss,
And some were pure and some were vile; but none took heed of us.
We saw the King as they killed him, and his face was proud and pale;
And a few men talked of freedom, while England talked of ale.

A war that we understood not came over the world and woke
Americans, Frenchmen, Irish; but we knew not the things they spoke.
They talked about rights and nature and peace and the people's reign:
And the squires, our masters, bade us fight; and scorned us never again.
Weak if we be for ever, could none condemn us then;
Men called us serfs and drudges; men knew that we were men.
In foam and flame at Trafalgar, on Albuera plains,
We did and died like lions, to keep ourselves in chains,
We lay in living ruins; firing and fearing not
The strange fierce face of the Frenchmen who knew for what they fought,
And the man who seemed to be more than a man we strained against and broke;
And we broke our own rights with him. And still we never spoke.

Our patch of glory ended; we never heard guns again.
But the squire seemed struck in the saddle; he was foolish, as if in pain,
He leaned on a staggering lawyer, he clutched a cringing Jew,
He was stricken; it may be, after all, he was stricken at Waterloo.
Or perhaps the shades of the shaven men, whose spoil is in his house,
Come back in shining shapes at last to spoil his last carouse:
We only know the last sad squires rode slowly towards the sea,
And a new people takes the land: and still it is not we.

They have given us into the hand of new unhappy lords,
Lords without anger or honour, who dare not carry their swords.
They fight by shuffling papers; they have bright dead alien eyes;
They look at our labour and laughter as a tired man looks at flies.
And the load of their loveless pity is worse than the ancient wrongs,
Their doors are shut in the evening; and they know no songs.

We hear men speaking for us of new laws strong and sweet,
Yet is there no man speaketh as we speak in the street.
It may be we shall rise the last as Frenchmen rose the first,
Our wrath come after Russia's wrath and our wrath be the worst.
It may be we are meant to mark with our riot and our rest
God's scorn for all men governing. It may be beer is best.
But we are the people of England; and we have not spoken yet.
Smile at us, pay us, pass us. But do not quite forget.

G. K. Chesterton

Oldrightie said...

I thought everyone has a minimum of three points on their license. Income used to bail out Snotty's banker friends!

Do visit Sue's place for a great pic on this theme.

Sue said...

"The best way to take control over a people and control them utterly is to take a little of their freedom at a time, to erode rights by a thousand tiny and almost imperceptible reductions. In this way the people will not see those rights and freedoms being removed until past the point at which these changes cannot be reversed."

Adolf Hitler

John B said...

"Why does a nylon pants wearing, overweight sweaty moustached cop in El Fleapit, Spain need to know if I put too much salt on my chips?"

He doesn't, and he won't under this law. However, if you're arrested in El Fleapit, Spain, for drunkenly throwing chairs at said sweaty moustached cop, then he can check the DB to see whether you've got a criminal record in the UK for violent offences.

Fuck knows where you've picked up the 'salt on chips' thing from.

Also note that the 'prohibitions' listed are punishments *for offences* - so if you've been banned from attending football games by an English court as a punishment for affray, that'll show up when El Dago Policio checks the database, but if you've been suspended from Sunday League football then it won't, because it isn't a criminal offence and doesn't go on your criminal record.

John B said...

@ Sue: no, not Hitler, some eejit on the Internet in 2007 who decided to attribute it to Hitler (there are no references to it in published books, works of scholarship, or indeed anywhere other than blog comments post-2007. Were this a real Hitler quote, there would be several.)

John B said...

So even if the categories themselves are not the story, what is this all about?

See above. It's about making it easier for criminal justice types, when they arrest someone from abroad, to find out that person's criminal record in other EU countries where they've lived.

If I'm a German cop who doesn't speak French, and I'm arresting someone who used to live in France on suspicion of a violent offence, then being told they have a conviction for offence type 0801 (intentional killing) and received sentence type 7001 (placed in a mental institution) will be more useful than getting some notes in French that I can't understand and need translated.

Scott said...

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Check it out: Http://

I really think you'll enjoy it

Guthrum said...

This just establishes a protocol for information exchange.

Why ?

Roger Thornhill said...

I prefer my version from 2007 with 26 stars - indicating that the UK has left.

p.s. this one only has 25 stars...or does that men Ireland AND the UK have left...?

johnny nunsuch said...

Why is it that the member governments of the EU are only to happy to collect and exchange information about us but will not tell us the truth about the great totalitarian project that they are steamrolling over the individual