Wednesday, 18 February 2009

I'm a bit lost here ...

For a bit of a laugh, I decided I'd follow Mary "Twat" Honeyball's twatter feed. She is a Labour MEP for London. (I follow Kerry "Mogadishu" McCarthy as well, but she hasn't said anything yet.)

So, up comes this twat: "Check out this SlideShare Presentation : End of the line for telephone scammers http://tinyurl.com/alfvwv"

Now, I've read this piece of cock sniffing, and it says:

The plague of telephone lottery scams, phoney prize draws and pyramid schemes is to be wiped out by tough new European laws championed by London MEP Mary Honeyball this week.


Because, of course, we don't have laws on the books for stuff like fraud already, do we? So fucking thanks for that Mary. By putting down another bit of EU-derived law, you're protecting us all HUGELY. Because the scammers will hear about the law, take fright and just fucking run away, won't they?

These laws offer consumers greater protection from scam pedlars, but as many of these scammers operate overseas, help from local councils and Trading Standards Offices to track down the culprits is needed.


Go on, then?

So over the next fortnight, London councils including Bexley, Brent, Camden, Ealing, Harrow, Greenwich, Hammersmith, Richmond, Tower Hamlets, Wandsworth and Westminster are taking part in a nation wide “Scamnesty”. This initiative asks local people to put all scam mail in clearly marked yellow bins placed in public areas such as libraries.


Pardon?

How the fuck is someone going to put a phone call into a clearly marked yellow bin, Mary?

But you know, it's odd that you should be banging on about this. You see, I'm sure that if I was on the receiving end of a serious scam, I'd contact someone who was paid to look into this kind of thing, like say, the police. (Or I would if the Labour Party hadn't co-opted the cuntwafts into the political establishment and de-focused them from actual crimes against individuals.)

But clearly, the police are fucking useless, which is why you can now solve crimes and abolish scams by simply dropping a phone call into a clearly marked yellow bin provided by Mary Honeyball, MEP. Which is nice.

Speaking out in favour of these new laws local MEP Mary Honeyball said: “These laws leave no hiding place for those who prey on the vulnerable and elderly, who scam over 3 million UK consumers each year, causing them lose a staggering total of £3.5 billion to scams annually.”


Er, so what you're saying is that the existing laws we've had for hundreds of years offered us no protection? Gosh, we really need to be grateful to these cunts, they've stepped up to the plate for the first time since the Civil War!

“Londoners’ support in tracking down these scammers by posting all scam mail in the clearly marked Scamnesty bins across the capital will help us track down these thieves and protect people’s savings in these tough economic times.”


Seriously, Mary, what the cunting fuck are you wittering on about? Do you really think that people are going to print off every bit of scam and stick it in your bins, instead of either binning it or falling for it? Do you think just having the email address is enough to secure a conviction without any of the fucking IP information or anything else?

Were you born that fucking stupid, or did you study it at the EU? I can't remember the last time an elected politician said something this utterly fatuous, and that's saying quite a lot.

18 comments:

JuliaM said...

Couldn't we just fill these damn bins with NuLab election flyers and copies of the Dear Leader's speeches..?

Tim said...

Might put my next council tax letter in - after all, how do I know it really is from them?

The Penguin said...

Another fuckwit on the gravy train, how depressing is that?

The Penguin.

Anonymous said...

Scunt!

microdave said...

Since they intend to have records of every phone call & Email all that's needed is a "Report This" button we can press when receiving an unwanted call, or spam Email. Problem solved!

Mark Wadsworth said...

But the people who fall for scams don't know it's scam-mail, do they? So how's it going to help the stupid people who fall for it?

Oldrightie said...

JuliaM said...
Couldn't we just fill these damn bins with NuLab election flyers and copies of the Dear Leader's speeches..?

18-Feb-2009 17:59:00

Great idea!

an ex-apprentice said...

Oxo, you made this up, didn't you?

PLEASE, tell me you made this up.

Anonymous said...

Mary Honeyball? Honeyball? Honey + Ball?

Did you make up this name? Please tell me you made up this name.

Shug Niggurath said...

At least we know those bastards at the BBC wont be getting away with their shite then.

Next up she could start a campaign against MEPs, MPs, and sundry other scamming cunts stealing our money.

Dennis said...

She might be dicing with danger when it comes to pyramid schemes.

As I recall, King Cheops had a shit-hot legal team.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Honeyball's blog is a rich vein of unintended comedy. Well worth bookmarking. The woman is beyond parody.

Labour box-ticker extraordinaire.

Roger Thornhill said...

If there is anyone praying on the vulnerable or short of gorm, it is Mary Honeyball, MEP.

Old Holborn said...

She's lovely

Leg-iron said...

I'm a fan, but she never answers my posts. Perhaps I should build a shrine.

The Whited Sepulchre said...

Amazing.
It's hard to believe that there was a time when the sun never set on the British empire.
The more I read, the more I marvel.

It's time to call in the kids; it's getting dark.

Sue said...

MEP's are a complete waste of air and space. Avril Doyle being the latest of course. "Debate is a recipe for Chaos?"

Poor Vaclav Klaus doesn't stand a chance with witches like her screaming at him!

Devil's Kitchen said...

They obviously missed out some of this sentence...

"Speaking out in favour of these new laws local MEP Mary Honeyball said: “These laws leave no hiding place for those who prey on the vulnerable and elderly...

... and the greedy and the stupid."

DK