Thursday, 7 May 2009

Once again, a Labour minister moves into a region so far beyond satire ...

... I thought people were just taking the piss again.

I should have known better:

The Government is demanding a radical overhaul of English football finances to break the domination of the “big four” clubs.

Andy Burnham, the makeup-wearing cocktard of a Culture Secretary, is calling for Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool to share their winnings in Europe with other Premier League teams.

I'm sorry?

I've read this piece over and over again, it sounds to me very much like a government minister is saying that if a team does well and makes lots of money, it should give that money to other people.

But surely that can't be the case? Surely not even a bloke who wears more makeup than me and is known for idiotic pronouncements can be so egregiously stupid as to be floating this idea?

Mr Burnham, an Everton fan, is pressing for several measures to redistribute the wealth of the richest league in the world to its lower reaches. He wants the league’s £1 billion revenue from television and sponsorship rights to be shared out more evenly among its 20 clubs. He also wants smaller squads and compulsory quotas of English players in team line-ups.

No, he definitely is that stupid that he is floating this idea.

I am so gobsmacked that I can't even begin to do a basic economic fisk of this, I just can't work up the energy.

The Labour Party: determined to introduce equality at any cost, out of spite and stupidity. I'm just stunned.


SaltedSlug said...

FFS. The guy is some kind of Randian socialist stereotype.

The total fucking throbber.

Michael Fowke said...

We all know what a dumb fucking wanker Burnham is. Remember just after Christmas, when he wanted to rate all websites like films? The man is a complete idiot. Honestly, if he wasn't in the government, who would employ him?

Bob's Head Revisited said...

Every day things just get more and more bizarre. I thought I knew surreal. I really thought I knew what surreal was. But every day the News just blows my fucking mind. New Labour are completely out there. Gone. Supersonic mindwarp. The fruitiest loops in Loopyfruity world.

ConstantlyFurious said...

The entire fucking government are like some tosser who's been sacked for stealing and lying, got pissed all afternoon and is now determined to shit in a filing cabinet, steal all the pens and tip over the pot plants before being escorted from the building with their sad possessions in a bin bag.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

What a fucking tool!

The Economic Voice said...

This is the most pathetic attempt yet at distracting the public from the dire straits this country is in.

I cannot believe the shallowness of this, trying to use the 'opiate of the people' to claim the high ground.

Warsteiner said...

And Harriet Harman has insisted that 25% of players must be women.

Anonymous said...

100% Vindictive

AntiCitizenOne said...

It's great for libertarians because we can show that this goal tax works in the same way as the immoral income tax.

Martin said...

Fucking hell.
They're going to nationalise football.

Anonymous said...

I wish MPs would share their (tax-free) expenses, with the electorate.

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

Sack the lot.

Dick Puddlecote said...

The Mash were on the money about this:

The minister has also called on England's richest clubs to 'share their wealth' as the government attempts to impose its namby-pamby, socialist bullshit on professional sport.As you say, Obo, it's worth fisking but seriously, where does one start?

I know sports ministers have always been tools, but this guy has raised the bar (perhaps he should lower it so others have an equal chance of being an utter cock).

Lancastrian Oik said...

Look, thete's lot wrong with football- as a supporter of a small Northern club I know how tough it is lower down the leagues.

But this is the fault of the FA, and it's got fuck all to do with that gibbering sanctimonious turd-with-stuck-on-fucking-eyelashes. He obviously didn't realise, when he got his arse handed to him at the Hillsborough memorial service, that he is fucking persona non grata, Everton fan or not.

No fucking way will we let cunts like this impose some sort of ill-thought out half-baked notion of egalitarianism on our game.

Burnham- don't just fuck off, fuck right off.

Roger Thornhill said...

This does not surprise me. It is Socialism writ large.

Labour were only waiting for the moment to put this forward. Their aim is everyone on national pay scales and each salary determined by the Government. And I mean everyone.

So, Labour supporters, you thought this would not happen? What on earth did you think Socialism was all about, eh?

David Gillies said...

Of course, it's begging the question in a galactic fashion that such a creature as a 'Culture Minister' even exists.

I read the Daily Mash spoof before the actual news article and knew that it was going to be something really spectacularly retarded, but in my wildest dreams I didn't realise it would be quite this mental. Basically your dictionary definition of a totalitarian is someone who does not grasp that there are spheres of existence where the government has no legitimate right to be. I would posit that how sports clubs run themselves is one such.

Andy Burnham should pull his arsehole over his head and sell himself as a jug handle. And then he and the rest of the grasping, power-crazed twats should be loaded into a gigantic cannon and shot into the fucking sun.

Hugh said...

@David Gillies, I doubt that you are alone in going to the Mash for your first look at the news these days. As Obo often says, beyond satire.

Perhaps he'll want the winning team at half time to take off their best players or something - it already happens in schools.

Fucking space cadet fucks.

Chris said...

Fuck Chelsea and their piss poor sportsmanship last night; but fuck Andy Burnham twice as hard!

Anonymous said...

"The Government has a duty to represent the views of football supporters across the country..."

WTF? The man is a complete cretin.

Yet another Labour idea based on envy, spite and busybody interfereist we-kow-better-ism.


Ross said...

Andy Burnham is a moron, possibly the stupidest member of a cabinet that includes Harriet Harman and it is no business of the ogvernment what the Premier League does.

That said the economics of sport are different from regular economics because teams depend upon their rivals also being reasonably popular and financially successful, for example if Sainsburies went out of business it would be great for Tesco, but if Tottenham went bust it would be very bad for Arsenal (which is why the Premiership voluntarily engages in a high degree of revenue sharing without any interference from Burnham).

The Penguin said... at 09.24

Obo at 17.55.

Penguin 1 Obo 0

However, both us played the "man", not the ball :-)

The Penguin.

Chalcedon said...

Equality. All will get prizes or no-one will. How dare you be successful. If you are we will redistribute your wealth to those who are unsuccessful.

This is just another Labour spite tax thingy, like income tax at 50% and the like. They hate to see success. Hence their utter hate of grammar schools, public schools, and the top universities. They use the term elitist almost as often as Dolly used racist.