Sunday, 26 July 2009

I am NOT making this up

Via Timmy, I see the CoE is working hard to encourage people into the church:

Churches should try harder to make bald and overweight people feel welcome, according to new guidance that is being issued to clergy.

A Church of England book published this week says they should be regarded as worshippers with "special needs" alongside the blind, the deaf, breast-feeding mothers, very short people and readers of tabloid newspapers.

Dude, seriously, WHAT THE FUCK??????????

No, really. What the fucking fuck?


Anonymous said...

Having read the Telegraph article it is clear that the CofE still doesn't get it, doesn't understand why so many people no longer worship in their buildings, many of which will be mosques in the next 25 years. Why? because instead of providing spiritual guidance it provides loony left PC drivel by committee, it has no standards, it doesn't understand ritual and tradition and it's full of gayers who go on and on and on and on about being gay.
I don't care as I don't believe in God, I jsu think it is a shame that the Church of England has let down those who do. get rid of the Druid ASAP before the Archbishop of Lagos is sitting in Canterbury!

Chalcedon said...

Curiously enough I don't see armed and muscular vergers grabbing and turning away bald blokes and fat birds at the church gates. WTF are they on about?

Anonymous said...

It's true... tabloid readers are special needs.


sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

That's where I'm going wrong in life. I don't read tabloid newspapers as much as I should.

SteveShark said...

Fucking hell, AJ, what does that make Mail readers?

David Gillies said...

This is pretty much par for the course for NuLabour and its attendant halo of windowlickers: recognise there is a problem and then grab, without fail, the wrong end of the stick. If the general public don't like your brand of touchy-feely, po-mo bollocks, then it's due to a failure to get your message across. It couldn't possibly be the fact that they know exactly what you stand for and reject it tout court. How could anyone in full command of his faculties fail to see the light shining from Gordon Brown's arsehole?

The doctrine of false consciousness was always one of those things that made me most inclined to hit the SWP dickheads canvassing outside the main entrance at university in the face with a claw hammer. They were almost invariably perpetual students in non-degree-level faux-arts subjects (like 'something Studies'*) and therefore a fortiori possessed of inferior minds; nonetheless they had the gall to accuse me of erroneous thinking.

* tip for HR people: if you have a stack of CVs for a job application, after you've binned all the ones that didn't go to a Russell Group Uni, bin all the ones with 'studies' in the degree title. It will save you ages. Most people with that sort of a degree come out of university rather less employable than when they entered. They're still only intellectually equipped to stack shelves in Aldi, but they have a chip on their shoulder that makes them stroppy and hard to manage.

Rob said...

These people will swear blind that they are egalitarians. Soft bigotry doesn't even come close to describing it.

Anonymous said...

Don`t these people realise that God hates bald headed fat bastards?

Obnoxio The Clown said...

That's me fucked, then.