Sunday 29 November 2009

Ah, the wonders of the NHS

An old acquaintance of mine was born in Essex, but emigrated to one of the colonies when he was young. A long time ago. He grew up in the colonies, lived there, worked there but on his retirement, he hankered to return to the land of his birth.

The fool.

So, he called me the other day to say he was going back to the colonies for some pre-Christmas sun. It was a Sunday, I think. On the Wednesday, I got a phone call from him to say he was in hospital. I found this rather odd, although he had mentioned going to the NHS doctors a couple of times (fruitlessly, of course) before his trip. He had called his old colonial GP on the Monday morning and arranged to see him on the Tuesday. After a very thorough examination, the colonial GP decided that he had a hernia. So he booked him in for some new surgical technique on the Wednesday, the operation was done immediately and by the Thursday, he was out shopping and enjoying his holiday.

And I have to say, it sounded wonderful.

Imagine phoning up your GP and being able to arrange to see the doctor you want to see at a time you want to see them. The doctor then spends a whole fucking hour checking you up because you "feel a bit out of sorts" and actually finds something. You know, doing actual diagnosis and stuff. You are then wheeled into a (clean) hospital of your choice within 24 hours for what is, frankly, not exactly a life-threatening condition and operated upon immediately. You leave the hospital better than you entered it and without a dose of MSRA.

Or, of course, he could have gone to a hospital in Essex.

10 comments:

JuliaM said...

Queen's Hospital is even worse. And that doesn't even have the excuse of being old...

Mitch said...

Ours is a shit tip where you wipe your feet on the way out too,scores high ratings in their tables though so mustn't grumble just aint going there.
Still forced to pay for the fuckers though.
I see more cleaners down the local tip, socialism does this.

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

My neighbour is having a terrible time with our local hospital. She has been diagnosed with an acute condition in one of her eyes, which may lead her to go blind. They've done several ops already to try and alleviate the problem, but with little success. The nurses apparently have been great, but the consultant with over 20 years experience has led the poor woman to believe she is in the hands of a imbecile who has just left college. Fortunately, she has BUPA through work and is going for a second opinion...

spare said...

Dont think for a second BUPA is the answer. My accountant still hobbles after his private knee op was bungled a few years ago. The NHS doesn't have a monopoly on dodgy healthcare practice.

Gendeau said...

Our hospitals are more efficient; you only visit the once.

I think that the only thing pissing me off more than the fact that these cost a fortune and are shite, is the fact that you are not allowed to point out that they're shite.

Everybody working on those wards should be given official reprimands (3 and you're out) for NOT whistle-blowing that the wards were unacceptable.

Clearly the CE should be castrated (with bricks) then Hung, Drawn and Quartered.

Until there are serious consequences for the bosses there will be no change.

AntiCitizenOne said...

Until there's a customer who pays for their own treatment then things won't improve.

Anonymous said...

sounds much like how it was when i lived in germany. and i'm not joking or exaggerating.
my ex called me up some three or so months ago, he'd had a heart attack, he got treated immeadiately, obviously, but after that he got sent on a kur, -most germans after major illness and /or operations get sent on kurs, 4 to 6 weeks, they're what i suppose one would call wellness holidays, one is entitled to have one of those every few years even without major illness and all part and package of their nhs system. i think the british still have no real idea just how badly the nhs is performing in comparision to other european countries' health care services.

Anonymous said...

Or you could come here to Thailand for medical treatment, thousands do every year. I was in a while ago saw the surgeon Friday agternoon CAT scan Saturday morning, in on Monday, operation Tuesday private room and bathroom (soemetimes its worth getting sick just for the nurses)who came round every couple of hours to check if I was OK. Seperate bed for my better half, the place was spotlessly clean should be the amount of cleaning staff they have. Discharged on Friday surgeon phoned my home frequently to make sure I was OK £2,500 but it sure beats the shit out of being dead. I you want to see a hospital in a developing country you could do worse then having a look at the MRI in Manchester as I had to the last time i was in the UK went to see a friend who was there, the place stank to high heaven was filthy the staff couldn't speak English and the food, I use that term in the loosest sense was inedible except for the cockroaches. This place has had millions spent on it would have been better sending the patients here to get fixed.

Weekend Yachtsman said...

I don't know which part of the colonies you're refering to, but either France or the US could have pulled off a performance like this quite routinely.

It's only here in the UK that such things are regarded as the stuff of fantasy.

Ain't State provision wonderful?

Anonymous said...

I had an annual chest xray at work (mobile unit) which is just the sort of thing that happens in 'backward' third world countries and they noticed I had a slightly enlarged heart. I went to the local hospital and saw the doctor within ten minutes and less than 30 minutes later I'd had a full blood test, an ultrasound AND I'd seen the heart specialist. The hospital was sparkly clean and parts of it had just been built. And this was on the Thai national health so it, and the expensive drugs, cost me the equivalent of just over a tenner a month.