The Climate and Health Council, a collaboration of worldwide health organisations including the Royal College of Nursing, the Royal College of Physicians and the Royal Society of Medicine, believes there is a direct link between climate change and better health.
Their controversial plan would see GPs and nurses give out advice to their patients on how to lower their carbon footprint.
The Council believes that climate change “threatens to radically undermine the health of all peoples”.
Firstly, until fucking doctors can reliably demonstrate useful basic diagnostic skills and nurses can stop trying to kill us with egregiously filthy hospitals, they can fuck off trying to tell me ANYTHING.
Secondly, on what possible basis can you argue that my doctor needs to tell me to worry about something that's (possibly) going to happen in 100 year's time? Fuck off, already, I haven't done my Christmas shopping, I've got e-fucking-nough to worry about.
Thirdly, how fucking desperate is this? We've caught caught the pro-AGW "scientists" cheating like absolute motherfuckers, so now they're wheeling out the fucking doctors and nurses?
Fourthly, ALL peoples?
And this is really the point which sets off my bullshit detectors on the whole AGW scam: there will be no benefits to warming. Everybody will be worse off. Instead of not freezing to death in winter (which is much more prevalent than broiling in summer) you will, instead, be killed just as hard by a warmer summer. The increased rain that will fall will only cause floods, there won't be fewer hose-pipe bans or better crops or anything like that.
And what are these fuckers getting so exercised about anyway? It's hundreds of years away, we don't know what the consequences are going to be and we don't even know if it's happening at all. You might as well tax us to help prevent another planet-shaker comet, for fuck's sake!
But I can see we need to keep our eyes on Professor Mike Gill:
"We have the evidence, a good story to tell that dramatically shifts the lens through which climate change is perceived, and we have public trust."
Mike, sweetie: there is no fucking evidence, your story sucks balls and I don't trust the NHS to tell me the fucking time.
What the fuck is it with these jumped-up, overweening, nannying, hectoring, bullying fucking doctors, anyway? Stop fucking sticking your busybody, authoritarian fucking noses into things that don't concern you. Start fucking doing your jobs properly.
Until you do, you can all fuck off and die.
Update: Leggy and Dick are equally unamused.