In fact: what the fucketty fucking fuck?
A music industry executive has been arrested for refusing to send a tweet to out-of-control fans of the teenage pop sensation Justin Bieber.
Officers wanted Roppo to cancel the 15-year-old Canadian star's album signing at a shopping centre in Long Island, New York after the crowd of pop fans swelled to 3,000 and began to turn aggressive.
Police claimed that the executive's refusal to intervene led to several people in the crowd sustaining minor injuries.
Roppo has now been charged with assault, endangering the welfare of a child, obstruction of governmental administration, reckless endangerment and criminal nuisance.
At a court hearing on Saturday, prosecutors condemned Rocco's "reckless behaviour" and claimed he helped create "very dangerous situation" with children being pushed against the glass of a second-floor balcony.
"It's a miracle more kids and more people weren't injured," said Diane Peress, the Nassau assistant district attorney.
Roppo denies all the charges and his record label has expressed astonishment that he faces criminal charges for not Twittering.
Astonishment? Jesus. I'd be suing the police for "aggravated extraction of urine".
Observers have also questioned how sending a tweet would have calmed a crowd of delirious pop fans.