Gordon Brown’s national roadshow to promote the concept of Britishness has turned out to be an expensive flop.
"The concept of Britishness"?? What the fuckety fucking fuck is that, then? And how was this roadshow advertised? I never fucking heard about it, and this is the kind of thing that would get any libertarian exercised (one way or the other) as well as tickling the angry button of a group like the TPA.
But I can't help but feel that the whole idea of "promoting the concept of Britishness" is a bit like trying to argue about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin: unanswerable and yet pointless and of no use, even if you do get an answer.
The public, councillors and even ministers have declined to attend events organised to determine if there is a case for a full British Bill of Rights and duties, or a written constitution.
Ooh. Rights and duties? That sounds a bit ominous, even to a libertarian. I know that your rights come with equivalent responsibilities, but I can only imagine that Gordon Brown's idea of rights and equivalent duties would be a mile or two away from my own.
"You have the right to watch EastEnders seven nights a week and the duty that flows therefrom is to perform six months of forced labour for the government's sole benefit", or "you have the right to receive junk mail and the duty that flows therefrom is that you have to prostate yourself before any passing MP and ululate".
No thanks, fuckmonkey.
The Conservatives say ten members of the public turned up to the first event in Leicester in December 2007, which cost £37,000 and was hosted by Jack Straw. They say that after that embarrassment, his Ministry of Justice restricted attendance at Governance of Britain events to people selected, and even paid, by the ministry.
Oh for Christ's sake! So we are going to get a bill of rights and duties defined by people who are paid by the government to pitch up? How likely is that to be in the favour of the common man?
They also claim that councillors have increasingly spurned the events. A total of 21 local authority representatives turned up in Leicester, but attendance fell at subsequent events to 11, then 10, 7 and 2. Finally, at an event in Newcastle on November 21 this year no councillors or officials turned up.
Even ministers are understood to have snubbed the roadshow. Nick Brown, the Labour Chief Whip and Minister for the North East, pulled out of last month’s event. Michael Wills, the Justice Minister, who had attended the previous events, also failed to attend.
Eleanor Laing, the Shadow Justice Minister, said: “Since 2007 we have had gimmick after gimmick on what it means to be British . . . Now, the public has spoken: Gordon Brown’s Britishness roadshow is a colossal waste of money. With the public finances in a mess, any plans for an even bigger nationwide non-event should be scrapped now.”
Nobody's fucking interested, you cuntwaft, because every fucker knows that you're just going to piss all over us and charge us for the privilege, no matter what the fuck we say we want. And that twat of a buttered new potato is no fucking better.
Mr Brown laid out his vision of a Britishness roadshow in his first statement to Parliament as Prime Minister. “It is right to involve the public in a sustained debate,” he said, urging Britons to consider their common values and the case for going farther with a single document codifying the duties and rights of citizens.
I love the way "duties" comes first. We all know where you're coming from, you fat fascist prick.
Fuck off, Gordon, and take your bill of fucking duties with you.