You can actually see...

... the moment his political career leaves his body ...

Update: More.

A gurning fuck knuckle speaks

I just watched "it", you know, the snot-gargling Scottish fuckmonkey's latest clusterfuck (because somehow, "faux pas" just doesn't cut it) and the thing that struck me was his rictus grin during his equally appalling mea culpa press meeting.

It wasn't the embarrassed, shamefaced grin of someone ashamed of what they've done. It was the arrogant sneer of someone saying "well, if I do this little thing, I can get away with fucking anything - you people are so fucking dumb."

I can't, offhand, think of anyone I have ever despised so much. I don't just want him gone. I want him crushed, destroyed and forced to contemplate his fall from grace for a very, very long time.

The utter, unspeakable, motherfucking cunt.

What the FUCK????

What the hell is this?

Dear Gordon

I see that you're now going to spend our money "wisely".

I was just wondering, you utter cock-sniffing, clinically insane, arse bandit fuckwit: why, after 13 years of pissing our money away like a drunken sailor in port for the first time in six months, you suddenly feel like you may be able to spend our money "wisely", and more importantly, why the cunting fuck you haven't fucking been spending our money wisely to date?

I look forward to hearing your answer, but I'm really not holding my breath.

You cunt.

Holy fuck!

Is that scary or what?

Under Labour 1964-70, the stock market’s real return (adjusted for inflation) went down by 13 per cent. Under Labour 1974-79 (which included Denis Healey’s grovelling to the IMF), it went down by 11.5 per cent. Under Mr Brown, the London stock market’s decline in real return is more than 20 per cent.

More than 20 per cent!? Fucking hellski!

SO much funnier than the Labour one...

Genius.

Pass the mind bleach!

Yuk:

We just need to ram Gordon Brown down the electorate’s throat

That would certainly work!

I laughed too

Tip of the clown wig to Man Widdicombe.

Is "the same day" a new record?

First:

Kraft deal for Cadbury: Gordon Brown warns US firm over jobs
Gordon Brown has warned Kraft not to cut jobs at Cadbury after the US food giant's £11.5 billion bid for the British confectioner was finally accepted.

Very shortly thereafter:

Cadbury says job cuts inevitable
Cadbury's chairman confirms to the BBC that job losses are an "inevitability" at the firm after its takeover by US giant Kraft Foods

Warning: This man is cursed!

Ouch!

This is going to hurt us a lot more than it's going to hurt Gordon:

Britain's inflation is heading back to 4 per cent territory ­ as you'd expect with the Bank of England printing money and using the debt to finance government spending. If you create more money, you reduce the value of the money. Citi has done another brilliant research note, which it is putting online, laying out the implications. The punters are facing pay freezes, or settlements below 2 per cent. The cost of living is soaring. Result: misery.

It was bound to happen eventually, it's nearly as immutable as the laws of physics. And we all know what happens when inflation goes up, don't we? Yes, kiddies, interest rates go up. If you thought that people reneging on their debts was on its way out, brace yourself for round two of this little party.

And the funny thing is, if those UTTER CUNTS in the government hadn't indulged in Quantitative Easing, this wouldn't be happening now.

2010 is going to be a very exciting year. For all the wrong reasons.

Jaw-dropping

It's the Mail, I know, but it's still pretty jaw-dropping stuff. As was this.

On Gordon Brown's sartorial splendour

"Looks like two pounds of shit stuffed into a one pound shit bag and tied in the middle"

From the comments here.

Missing the point

This has been sitting in my browser window for a couple of days, because I just didn't understand it:

Gordon Brown’s national roadshow to promote the concept of Britishness has turned out to be an expensive flop.

"The concept of Britishness"?? What the fuckety fucking fuck is that, then? And how was this roadshow advertised? I never fucking heard about it, and this is the kind of thing that would get any libertarian exercised (one way or the other) as well as tickling the angry button of a group like the TPA.

But I can't help but feel that the whole idea of "promoting the concept of Britishness" is a bit like trying to argue about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin: unanswerable and yet pointless and of no use, even if you do get an answer.

The public, councillors and even ministers have declined to attend events organised to determine if there is a case for a full British Bill of Rights and duties, or a written constitution.

Ooh. Rights and duties? That sounds a bit ominous, even to a libertarian. I know that your rights come with equivalent responsibilities, but I can only imagine that Gordon Brown's idea of rights and equivalent duties would be a mile or two away from my own.

"You have the right to watch EastEnders seven nights a week and the duty that flows therefrom is to perform six months of forced labour for the government's sole benefit", or "you have the right to receive junk mail and the duty that flows therefrom is that you have to prostate yourself before any passing MP and ululate".

No thanks, fuckmonkey.

The Conservatives say ten members of the public turned up to the first event in Leicester in December 2007, which cost £37,000 and was hosted by Jack Straw. They say that after that embarrassment, his Ministry of Justice restricted attendance at Governance of Britain events to people selected, and even paid, by the ministry.

Oh for Christ's sake! So we are going to get a bill of rights and duties defined by people who are paid by the government to pitch up? How likely is that to be in the favour of the common man?

They also claim that councillors have increasingly spurned the events. A total of 21 local authority representatives turned up in Leicester, but attendance fell at subsequent events to 11, then 10, 7 and 2. Finally, at an event in Newcastle on November 21 this year no councillors or officials turned up.

Even ministers are understood to have snubbed the roadshow. Nick Brown, the Labour Chief Whip and Minister for the North East, pulled out of last month’s event. Michael Wills, the Justice Minister, who had attended the previous events, also failed to attend.

Eleanor Laing, the Shadow Justice Minister, said: “Since 2007 we have had gimmick after gimmick on what it means to be British . . . Now, the public has spoken: Gordon Brown’s Britishness roadshow is a colossal waste of money. With the public finances in a mess, any plans for an even bigger nationwide non-event should be scrapped now.”

Nobody's fucking interested, you cuntwaft, because every fucker knows that you're just going to piss all over us and charge us for the privilege, no matter what the fuck we say we want. And that twat of a buttered new potato is no fucking better.

Mr Brown laid out his vision of a Britishness roadshow in his first statement to Parliament as Prime Minister. “It is right to involve the public in a sustained debate,” he said, urging Britons to consider their common values and the case for going farther with a single document codifying the duties and rights of citizens.

I love the way "duties" comes first. We all know where you're coming from, you fat fascist prick.

Fuck off, Gordon, and take your bill of fucking duties with you.

Cunt.

Compare and contrast

This genius with this one.

Obo exclusive: Afghanistan shocker

In a world exclusive, I can reveal the next soldier who will die in Afghanistan. I don't know his name, but he's the unfortunate soul on the other end of the Handshake of Doom:

Gear up for a blood bath in Afghanistan

The fucking nutter with the stutter has opened his fat, flappy yap again:

Gordon Brown provoked surprise this afternoon by announcing that Britain's military presence in Afghanistan would soon be over 10,000, as he took the unusual step of revealing that there were around 500 special forces there.

"Surprise"? "Unusual step"? Talk about a fucking understatement.

Gordoom, you fucking mentalist, you really are entirely unfit to run the country. Why don't you just post all the details of our military operations and plans on the internet where everyone can fucking download them and study them at their leisure? It will make it a lot easier to kill soldiers, reduce demand for money from the military for pesky things like wages and weapons and ammo, less pension funding will be required, it's a win all round.

You fucking stupid moronic cunt-featured cunting IDIOT!

Now there's a headline I have no problem believing

Cunt:

Gordon Brown 'went for second best to spite Tories'

Is there no depth the monocular mentalist scum will not plumb for cheap and tawdry political advantage?

It's fucking even worse, because Mandelsnake looks like a fucking hero by comparison:

Gordon Brown rejected advice from Lord Mandelson to seek one of the big economic posts in the European Commission for Britain once it was clear that Tony Blair could not succeed in becoming Europe’s first president, The Times has learnt. Instead he settled for the post of EU High Representative for Baroness Ashton of Upholland.

The Business Secretary and other ministers believed that one of the EU’s three big financial jobs — running the internal market and financial services, competition or trade — would have served Britain’s interests better than putting such an inexperienced figure into the foreign affairs role.

Instead Mr Brown allowed himself to be persuaded — bounced according to some EU sources — into accepting the foreign affairs job by a combination of Europe’s Socialist leaders and José Manuel Barroso, the President of the European Commission.

There were also claims that, in exchange, Mr Brown did a deal with President Sarkozy to give the internal market portfolio to the French, sparking criticism from the Conservatives.

Reading between the lines here, this looks like a broadside from Mandelsnake over the bow of the "good" ship Brown: he is saying that he would not have done things that way, so that when it all goes tits up, he can point a finger at the bogey-muncher. I reckon he'll pull the plug from his support of the Gorgon if the snot-gobblin' king does one more stupid thing.

With a bit of luck, it will all go bang just before the election.

Update: I'm not as dumb as I look.

Twatstorm in a twatcup

Perhaps you remember a while ago, a bunch of Labour polesmokers managed to get a hashtag to make it to the top of the twatter charts: #WeLoveTheNHS.

Well, today, we have #SaySorryBrown hitting the dizzy heights ... and for some reason, all the red cocksuckers are quiet.

Well, du-UHH!?

The Prime Minister takes a great deal of time writing letters of condolences.

Perhaps the fat fucker should take us out of all these illegal foreign adventures then?

Jackie Ashley - another Labour buttwipe

Wittering on about how useless iDave is going to be. Well, yes, you rancid old harridan, but we're so fucking sick of the Gorgon that we'd take Adolf fucking Hitler right now:

So we are left with a profoundly paradoxical political landscape. A deeply unpopular government is running out of authority and beginning almost to wish for death. Yet the opposition isn't particularly popular and on many of the big issues, from climate change to Afghanistan, the banking system to Europe, it does not offer real change. Granted, the Tories are far more aggressive about public spending cuts, but since we don't know what Labour would actually do in a few years' time, even that is cloudy.

A more confident government would be able to exploit all this. Labour has a story to tell, but it is almost voiceless. So Cameron and his colleagues bestride the political stage, fawned on by the establishment, preparing for power and easily surviving the most embarrassing policy U-turn so far. Well, they will have a miserable time when they get there – the pity is, so will millions of others.

Like we haven't had a miserable twelve years under the thumb of your brand of cock-sniffers, eh?

Still, there's some good news at least:

Some Labour people may think I'm sounding too gloomy, but those who have been privy to recent private polling are a lot more than gloomy. This suggests that Labour could return to the Commons with just 120 MPs or thereabouts, taking the party back to 1930s territory.

Personally, I'd been hoping for somewhere behind the Monster Raving Loony Party, but that will have to do for now.