Quote of the nanopicosecond

Heh:

... the chances of him [Alastair Darling[ being invited to remain as Chancellor are slimmer than a collection of Mr Brown’s witticisms.

Teh funneh!!1!

This is fucking hysterical:

"Rawnsley reveals that Brown rang Blair while he was staying with the Queen at Balmoral. He was furious that Alan Milburn, Blair's close ally, had written a piece supporting the prime minister's right to stay at No 10.

Rawnsley writes:

'The chancellor's fury was titanically demented even by his standards. 'You put fucking Milburn up to it,' Brown raged down the phone. 'This is factionalism! This is Trotskyism! It's fucking Trotskyism!' Blair was nonplussed. He had not even seen the article. After the call, he then read it and phoned Milburn to say it was excellent. They laughed about Brown's hysterical reaction.'"

The man isn't just a fucking mental health challenge now, he's been one forever.

God help me

I have decided, I believe, who I am going to vote for in the coming elections. And it truly is something I'm going to do with gritted teeth and no small amount of personal anguish.

I'm going to vote for the Labour Party.

Not only am I going to vote for the Labour Party, but I urge you to vote for the Labour Party too.*

Now, you may well believe that I've either lost my senses or I've been kidnapped by Peter Mandelson who is currently writing this for me.

But neither of these is true.

I have come to the conclusion that there is little point in voting for a fringe party, because British people are still far too tribal to elect loads of little parties into parliament (although that would be great, too!)

The reality of this is that either the Tories or Labour are going to wind up running the show and contrary to what you might expect, I'd like it to be Labour that wins. Well, not really, what I'd like is for them to be burned at the stake, their ashes pulverized and then scattered to the four winds. But think about this: no matter who wins the election, we're going to be crucified for the next decade at least. The state is going to have to be decimated, spending programs will have to be slashed and the economy is going to be crushed under taxes and shit growth.

When the Major government won the '92 election, Major said that the only thing that would keep Britain afloat was the ERM. When we were unceremoniously ejected, his credibility and that of the Tory Party was bludgeoned into nothingness, something that took more than a decade for the Tories to even think about getting back.

Imagine what havoc would be wreaked upon Labour's credibility if they had to be the party of cuts, the party that actually inherited the consequences of their economic mismanagement? It would take a generation for them to recover. The faction fighting and internecine struggles would prevent them from doing any actual governing as well.

But even better, imagine what the consequences would be for the Tories if they were rejected at the polls again. The buttered new potato would certainly get the hoof, and the centrist, vapid, statist, social democratic wing of the Tory party would be rightly silenced. Iain Duncan Smith and his fucking one nation social justice would finally be consigned to the dustbin of history and who knows, the Tories might actually implode altogether.

And from the ruins of this morass of big government, quango-loving goat-felchers may well arise a different political system, one which recognises that British people have to potential to be something other than vacuous sheep. A political system that has learned the lesson that you cannot have everybody living at the expense of someone else. A political system that has learned that government is the problem, not the solution.

So once again, I ask you to vote Labour, but failing that: anyone but Dave.

*Unless there's an LPUK candidate in your area. Obviously.

More frivolous hilarity

So, after all the Brown bullygate bollocks, what has happened to the polls?

The pre-temper tantrum poll:

CON 37%(-2), LAB 30%(nc), LDEM 20%(nc)

Now we come to the second poll, which has caused Mike Smithson, and one or two others, much heartache overnight. The original published figures were wrong or was a deliberate leak.

Anyway, here is the first post-temper tantrum daily tracker poll, with the correct figures:

CON 39%(nc), LAB 33%(nc), LDEM 17%(nc)

The figures speak for themselves. Rawnsley’s allegations are having no effect.

I wonder why that would be? Possibly because the electorate can't tell Labour's policies from Tory policies? And because there's no real point in getting shot of one bunch of useless fuckpieces to replace them with another bunch of useless fuckpieces?

Britain is broken in many different ways

So after the bullygate polling, I was curious:

A YouGov poll carried out for the Sun after the Rawnsley revelations and has the Tories up two to 41 with Labour dropping four to 29. This poll has, obviously, been taken at the worst time for Labour but, at first blush, it does suggest that the bullying allegations have cut through.

Is it just me who finds this incredibly depressing? Are the British so fickle that some sleaze will take the shine off the Prime Mentalist and then after a week or two, the sleaze will be forgotten and Gorgon's share price will start going up again? I mean, the fucker has ruined the country, fucked it sixteen ways from Sunday, and people are losing a bit of faith in him because he chucks Nokias around? For a couple of days, anyway.

It's true. We really do deserve the government we get.

Update: It seems that someone got their facts wrong. Cunts.

Ah, so, Mister Blown

Can it get any worse ...

... indeed?

£4.3bn in the red, that is the gruesome fact of the government’s January accounts. Never before has the government borrowed money in January, usually a month of surplus as self-assessed income and corporation tax receipts line government coffers. Analysts forecast a surplus of £2.8bn, denoting just how bad the situation is.

Income £7bn below estimate?

Never had to borrow money in January before?

Truly, "Colostomy" Brown has brought us to a state of economic ruin never before seen in this cuntry.

Go you mad, fat fuck. Just go, before we are forced to rend you limb from limb with our bare hands. And take those useless cunts in your party with you. Because we've FUCKING HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!

A new blog tag

Inspired by the mighty Dungeekin, I've adopted a new name for the Prime Mentalist: Colostomy Brown.

Holy fuck!

Is that scary or what?

Under Labour 1964-70, the stock market’s real return (adjusted for inflation) went down by 13 per cent. Under Labour 1974-79 (which included Denis Healey’s grovelling to the IMF), it went down by 11.5 per cent. Under Mr Brown, the London stock market’s decline in real return is more than 20 per cent.

More than 20 per cent!? Fucking hellski!