Friday, 2 April 2010

Same old Tories? Or Caring, Understanding New Tories?

Lately, I'm starting to feel sympathetic to some of the charges levied by Labour against the Tories. For one thing, the Tories have historically had a whiff of the jackboot about them. And while Labour are not immune from this charge by any means, anyone voting Tory in the hopes of getting a slightly less nasty government will be unamused by this:

Since 1997, Labour has, true to its roots, concentrated on building big government. Gordon Brown’s unremitting control-freakery has peppered public services with targets and processes, regulation and paperwork. The result has been a bigger state.


So, the first thing that is hypocritical of the Caring Understanding New Tories is that their control-freakery means they wouldn't publish a polite criticism of their blog post. LabourList Mk II, anyone?

Since the Tories are really just pink-frilly-knickers with no fucking balls and can't face criticism on their own blog, I guess I'll just have to criticise the useless motherfuckers here, won't I?

But really, given an intro like that, what could I possibly find to criticise? Well:

We want to make it easier for people to contribute to the lives of their communities in the ways they see best. We want a bigger society.


Is that "society" as in "social justice", "social care", "social services"? You'll excuse me if I say that the last fucking thing we need is more of that fucking shit, you utter cunt.

This mentality drives one of our most exciting proposals for young people – the National Citizen Service. This will offer all 16-year olds the opportunity to take part in a three-week social project in the summer after they’ve finished their GCSEs. First and foremost we want young people to experience a challenge – we’ll take them out of their comfort zones on a residential team-building course of a week or more.


Ah yes. Moving them out of their comfort zone for a week. What harm can that do? Not much, I suppose. But I suspect this week will become two, then three, then six, then twelve weeks -- which is roughly what the Soviet military reckoned was enough to take well over 95% of the population and mould them into compliant little drones. just 12 weeks of "being out of your comfort zone" ... and that comfort zone would get gradually less and less comfortable, with increasingly strict discipline, less freedom, earlier wakeup calls, more physical activities and less time to think. Groupthink and "communal values" would be encouraged.

And certainly, the "no-comfort zone" would not allow in any but state-approved media and state-approved reading material.

After that they will be sent back to their own communities to consider what they think they can do to help meet their area’s needs. They will then draw up plans for social action projects which they will set up and keep going with volunteer work in the following year. This will be inspirational hard work giving every young person the opportunity to rub shoulders with others from very different walks of life and work with them to build better societies and communities.


If that paragraph doesn't give you an involuntary shudder of horror and revulsion, you're probably better off dead.

Just think, once you have been moulded into a useful little drone, they will send you back to meet with king and queen bees, who will guide you in the paths of righteousness.

So, after the true spine-chilling horror, we move back into the fatuous uselessness we have come to expect of iDave's Caring Understanding New Tories:

Equally we need to build better rites of passage for young people in this country. At the moment too many of the perceived markers for adulthood are negative – getting drunk, smoking, having underage sex – NCS is an opportunity for us to offer the youth of today an indication that society will value them by what they put in, not what they take out.


Which just goes to fucking show what a completely unaware poltroon wrote this shit. Listen, you nasty little aspiring-fascist bowl of rancid monkey spunk, by the time kids are 16, they're either OK or they're already fucked. This creepy, horrible and appalling idea of yours is the wrong thing and far too fucking late to fix the ostensible problem anyway.

Cuntservatives: striving to be every single bit as bullying, nasty and awful as Labour. Oh, and "Tim Loughton"? You're definitely a CUNT.

9 comments:

JuliaM said...

We're doomed. Last one to leave the island, please turn out the (eco-friendly) light.

Furor Teutonicus said...

After that they will be sent back to their own communities to consider what they think they can do to help meet their area’s needs. They will then draw up plans for social action projects which they will set up and keep going with volunteer work in the following year. This will be inspirational hard work giving every young person the opportunity to rub shoulders with others from very different walks of life and work with them to build better societies and communities.

Chairman Mao and the red gusrd would have been proud to call this idea their own.....except it WAS their fucking idea!

Furor Teutonicus said...

Whatever THAT IS, it was MEANT to be Red GUARD.

I HATR bloody easter!

Carpe Jugulum said...

"build better rites of passage for young people in this country"

Someone please tell me this is a fucking joke......rights of passage? social action projects??????

What.the.fuck.are.these.knobjockeys.smoking

Mark Wadsworth said...

To be fair, I think he must have missed a couple of words:

At the moment too many of the perceived markers for adulthood are negative, apart from getting drunk, smoking, having underage sex...

Mitch said...

Surely "bigger society" means smaller government or am I just being hopelessly optimistic ?.

J Demetriou said...

Fuck the Tories. Utter scum to a man. I hope they fry in the election and get utterly crushed.

Zaphod Camden said...

Christ on a minimoke.

I'm glad I'm not 16. I'm glad I'm not having children of my own either. No way would I want to put them through anything that sounded like this.

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

Sounds like Common Purpose. Didn't realise CallmeDave was into that sort of thing. His twaddle is straight from Julia Middleton and her crew. Yeuch! Yes, I'm glad that I don't have children to worry about. I'd be pulling my hair so much, I'd have little left.