Monday, 13 July 2009

Supercilious little leprechaun molester

So, I'm in Leeds for the night. And I'm checked in to very boutique-y hotel, where, for some reason, the guy manning reception is sporting a very fetching brogue.

To be sure.

Unfortunately, he is also a cock-sniffing fuckmonger of the very highest order. While I was checking in, he harangued me about how much my carbon footprint is and what all the clever things are that this fucking hotel is doing to save electricity and stuff. Listen, fucknugget, I don't give a fuck. I'm tired and I want somewhere to sleep.

So I get into the room and what do I find? A pamphlet asking me to put only recyclables into one bin and food waste into another.

What the fuck?

Then I went to get my parking ticket pre-approved because I have a very early start tomorrow. And I get this condescending arsemunch laying it on with a trowel how their system would not keep track of the validation across a date change. Well, fucking thanks for telling me how fucking useless your software vendor is, but how the cunting fuck is that my problem?

What happened to a big of courtesy and trying to hang on to customers in these trying times, you goat-felching jizzwaft?

I'm tempted to start smoking just so I can smoke in the room, just to fuck them off.

Cunts.

16 comments:

Curly said...

Go on, you know you want to.

Anthony Charles Lynton Blair said...

Watch it!
Harridan Harpyperson favours Northerners......

microdave said...

"a cock-sniffing fuckmonger of the very highest order. "

"fucknugget"

"condescending arsemunch"

"goat-felching jizzwaft"

I take it from these comments that you might be just a teensy bit annoyed...

Anonymous said...

As they said to the newly widowed mrs lincoln "well apart from that what did you think of the play?"

Anonymous said...

You should name the hotel so the rest of us don't make the same mistake ;-)

Shades said...

It just has to be in "The Calls".

Bristol Dave said...

I bet they fucking charge you for Wifi too, most hotels have turned into money-grabbing cunts. They'd charge you each time you take a shit if only they thought they'd get away with it.

Many a time I've found a local wireless network that's only protected with WEP so with a bit of aircrack-ng action I can have the key in about 5 minutes. Other option is if it has a box that charges you for films etc these normally need an open internet connection to charge your credit card. Just rip the CAT5 lead out the back of this card and plug it into your laptop. Bingo.

I've seen some places try and charge £25 for 24 hours. They can suck my fucking cock if they think I'll pay that for a few hours of internet access!

JP said...

Welcome to the dangerous world of environmentalism and the Health and Safety Executive. The culprit? New Labour.

littlelittlerants.blogspot.com

The Refuser said...

Bristol Dave you're a very bad man. Thanks for the Cat5 tip :)

Mitch said...

I hope you took all the coffee and other freebies from the bathroom.
you did pay for them after all.

Anonymous said...

Which bin did you put the pamphlet into?

Andy.

Lancastrian Oik said...

All these supercilious little fuckers in hotels with their "passive aggressive" routines- I just want to fucking smack the condescending twats every fucking time. I hope told the Irish cunt that the "validation" wasn't your problem, it was his and he'd better get it fucking sorted.

aljahom said...

Roomzzz or Bewleys?

Leeds truly is the buboe-infested armpit of england.

AJ

WV: mings

Anonymous said...

Serves you right for going to Scumville in the first place...

wv: slychi...sounds like summat you'd get from the slappers from Gipton or Harehills or Armley...

captainff said...

You have a high pain threshold Mr Clown?

:D

utter bastard said...

Suggest you set fire to a sock (should contain some % of wool) just before you leave your room for the last time.

The smell will linger for ... ooh ... two months.