I'm glad he's back

Apologies to those who've come looking for "Never the main event". I binned it. Oops..

Useless twat.

Bon!

I always take the piss out of the cheese-eating surrender monkeys, but really, I admire them more than anything else:

A maverick lawyer who styles himself the motorists' defender has vowed to bring the French justice system to its knees via a groundbreaking website that automatically challenges radar-generated speeding convictions.

After just one month in operation, the site - www.direct-avocat.com - already has 120,000 subscribers, who for a maximum fee of just 8 (roughly £7) have been helped to file legal objections against fines or the deduction of licence points.

For Yannick Rio, who devised the software with the help of an American car users' association, the aim is to flood the courts with so many appeals that they are unable to cope. Under the French penal code, the punishments will lapse if the challenges are unanswered after a year.

Rio says he is providing an outlet for the growing anger in France at the proliferation of radars and other controls, and at the undiscriminating manner with which the state uses them to collect hundreds of millions of euros every year.

Can we not do something similar? Imagine if every single speeding fine in this country was challenged ... the courts would collapse. Is there an enterprising lawyer out there?

Or do you reckon (like I do) that the apathetic average British retard will be too scared in case he gets in trouble for standing up for himself?

Sarky cunts!

The Barclay Brothers have earned themselves the "cunts of the year" award with this little number:

The billionaire Barclay brothers shut down their operations in Sark last night after they were unceremoniously rejected by the voters in the first full election in the last bastion of feudalism in the Western world.

An acrimonious election campaign ended with the islanders voting overwhelmingly for candidates who opposed the brothers’ moves towards modernisation.

The Barclays basically bullied 500-odd people who were quite happy living their lives into chucking away their own system of government and replacing it with "democracy". They bought up hotels and shops and then threatened that if people didn't vote for further sucking of the Barclay cock, they would shut everything down and then people would lose their jobs.

And the Sarkies pretty much unanimously told them to go fuck themselves. So they tried plan B, which was to weasel in one of the unelected representatives:

Talks were held between Kevin Delaney, who runs their operations on Sark, and senior members of the Chief Pleas in an attempt to find a way in which he could be involved in the decision-making process, perhaps with a co-opted place on committees. But with no offer made by 5pm a decision was made to shut down.

So the Barclays took their ball and went home, like the spoiled little cunts they are.

Twats.

As the wife of the Seigneur of the island said:

“They were the ones that started all this democracy business, now they don’t like it because they haven’t won.” She said that that the Barclays’ attempt to negotiate for a seat on committees was “like saying, ‘We’ve lost the race and we want the cup’.”

So, as a consequence, I'm planning that my next holiday abroad will be to Sark to thank them for sticking two fingers up at bossy, bullying, Righteous cunts who know better.

I suggest you do too!

Approaching the kilowrist barrier!

Lots of fat pipe grabbing:

The geneticists are especially upset as they have plans to run even more comprehensive genetic sequencing experiments, routinely producing 30 TB. Rather meaninglessly, the ASU press office say that this is equivalent to "an iPod with 15 million songs".

Putting that into terms we can all understand, one might say that if you had that amount of uncompressed 1080p full high-definition pornographic video, it would take four days without sleep to watch it.

And:

If one were to use a pipe of such fatness as an uncompressed-1080p HD smut hose, it could fill 23 screens simultaneously without trouble. Using compression, and accepting a less detailed but still pleasingly sharp 720 x 480 image, it would be possible to satisfy no fewer than 700 vid-hungry onanists at once - approaching the magical "kilowrist barrier".

When 100% of your commenters disagree

... the issue must be global wormening.

Hat tip to the Waendel Journal

Worth quoting in full

I don't want to be uncomradely or personal, but for Charles Clarke I will make an exception.

As Home Secretary, you self-serving tub of lard, you were a bloody embarrasment. Many of us up for election at the time you were making an arse of yourself will not forget that easily. So why don't you and your little chums Byers and Milburn stop behaving as if you were the conscience of the Labour Party and go back to being the blairite has beens that you are.

The chattering classes at The Guardian and New Statesman might still think your views are relevant and earth shattering, but most Party members think you are a waste of good oxygen.

-- Bob Piper, Labour Councillor for Sandwell