And so it begins... (for @TomHarrisMP) #equalmarriage

I think this is the first time I've noticed the start of a Fabian twisting of our language.

While I'm all for teh gayz having the right to fuck up their lives with marriage, I now see that we're not allowed to talk about gay marriage. It's "equal marriage".

No, it's not equal. There are different constraints that apply to gay marriage, one of which is that gays can have affairs and it's not grounds for divorce. That's a pretty weird form of exclusive monogamous commitment right there. There are other differences, a lack of consummation is not grounds for divorce either. So, you can have a gay marriage, never touch your partner, fuck around as much as you want and your partner just has to put up with it.

What kind of marriage is that, then?

But somehow, this has become "equal marriage". I'm pretty sure there's loads of people in straight marriages who would like the same perks, frankly. There are probably more straight people fuck around in their marriages and would like to do so without any prospect of sanction than there are gays who want to get married. What about some "equal rights" for them?

And what happens if a transgender gets married as a straight and then converts? Does their "conventional" marriage now become an "equal" marriage or are they a same-sex couple who have to be faithful?

This is just another badly-drafted, ill-considered bit of law that is going to fuck things around more. But mostly I'm annoyed about the abuse of the language.

It makes me wonder how much other "equality" law is a load of shit.

"Homosexuality is not normal"

Oh for fuck's sake. Can the professionally-aggrieved and the mincing arse-bandits not fucking take the slightest fucking criticism any more?

Why is being offended such a fucking get-out card nowadays?

No answer

Sally Bercow twatted some shit about some pooves (one of them an MP) tying the knot in the Houses of Parliament and how fucking excited she is to attend. I asked her if straights got married in Parliament, because I'm pretty sure no fucker is that sad.

I got no answer. In fact, I got rather studiously ignored. Does anyone know?

Because otherwise I might have to conclude that breeders do not get married in the Houses of Parliament and that this is just another exercise by insecure arse bandits (or rug munchers) to rub their sexual habits in everyone's faces.

Which is fine, but then they shouldn't moan when other people bitch about having to deal with it.

And if anyone tries to tell me this is homophobic, just ask yourself: if you were going to get married, would you really choose your fucking office as the place to get married? I mean, I love my job and all, but that's just fucking sick.

So I can only assume that this really is just another sham to ramrod home the idea that homosexuality is more important than heterosexuality.

Which is a pile of cock.

Update: I see it's Chris "Underpants" Bryant, so he probably is sad enough to think it's a good idea to get married at the office. What a fucking bell end.

And even more appallingly, there is apparently a chapel there for breeder use.

So, apologies to pooves everywhere.

Black Leading Men Movies

I see Five is running a season of movies featuring black male stars. And to be fair, I quite like Snipes, Freeman, Jackson and I can tolerate Will Smith maybe twice a year.

But really, isn't this just another kind of racism? It's discriminating against honkies, kikes, wops, spics, wetbacks, towelheads and curry munchers. If I missed out your race, fuck you anyway, cunt.

AND it's sexist: no hos or bitches, either.

Seriously: why is it acceptable to have a black leading man season and racist to have a white leading man season?

Can somebody please explain this to me?

Bob Piper is right

Sorry, I should have warned you before I said this. But hopefully you've recovered now.

And what is more, Bob Piper is right when he says that Iain Dale is right.

So what's with this massive blogging love-in?

The left has won the battle of ideas for tolerance, diversity and equality. Perhaps the major achievement of the Blair/Brown years has been to shift the social attitudes compass to the left. The progressive attitudes towards gays and lesbians, women and racial minorities are now accepted by all of the mainstream political parties.

Yep, it's definitely true. The Tories will pander to special interests just like the Labour Party and the LibDems. No mainstream party will say: "No more pandering to special interests". Even the BNP exists to pander to a special interest group.

What a fucking mess.

Ooh, yes, please!

If these three cretins want to take the In Your Shoes scheme further, however, perhaps we could arrange for their homes to be burgled so they know how millions of their fellow countrymen feel when they come home to see that their homes have been violated? Or for them to be stopped and searched pointlessly when they are going about their lawful business one evening? Or for their cars to be stolen? Or for the peace of their neighbourhoods to be shattered by yobs terrorizing locals?

Works for me!

Indoctrination: Epic Fail!

Oh dear, Trevor isn't going to be very popular with the right-on crowd for this:

I cannot stress strongly enough that I do not feel that I was rejected from Bristol because I am attending Westminster School, which, despite its substantial fees, honestly produces some of the most well-rounded, interesting and diverse people I have met. Admittedly, it is only when surrounded by large numbers of such individuals who are receiving more rejections than offers, that I have doubted the proficiency of the admissions process.

How very dare she! Standing up for private schools!? The shame! She then goes on to say:

Ultimately however, I have saved myself much frustration and self-criticism by adopting the view that while we may not always understand or agree with the universities' definition of a "desirable" candidate, we must place a degree of trust in those institutions at which we hope to pursue our education and develop our interests. Essentially it is the duty of universities such as Bristol to ensure that their departments remain attractive and accessible enough to continue drawing in as many as 1,500 applicants-a-year and they alone must take responsibility for judging the criteria by which they hope to achieve this.

Good grief! Trev, mate, you really need to take care of business at home, you're letting the side down.

No comment -- kinda

A serving police officer named in a leaked list of British National Party (BNP) members has been sacked.

Pc Steve Bettley, of Merseyside Police, was included in the list of the far right party's entire membership register which was leaked on an internet blog.

The officer, who was briefly the driver for chief constable Bernard Hogan Howe, has been suspended from duty since the list became public last November.

A Merseyside Police spokeswoman said: "A Merseyside Police misconduct panel has dismissed Constable Steve Bettley after concluding he had knowingly been a member of the British National Party from March 2007 and up to March 2008."

The spokeswoman added: "In determining their findings, the panel confirmed there was no evidence that Pc Bettley had ever displayed any racist views or discriminatory behaviour in the workplace.

"The panel determined that Pc Bettley's membership of the BNP is a clear breach of lawful orders and police regulations as the party's views are incompatible with the duties and values of the Police Service."

A ban on serving police officers joining the BNP was introduced by the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) in 2004.

Merseyside Police Federation, which represented Pc Bettley at the misconduct hearings, said he accepted his name was on the BNP list but he denied being a member of the party.

He said he was enrolled in the party by a family member without his knowledge and he planned to appeal against the dismissal.

A spokesman for Merseyside Police Federation said: "We are disappointed with the finding and sanction of the misconduct panel and do not believe that there is any evidence presented to the panel which would indicate that he was knowingly a member of the BNP."

Nothing to say that he signed himself up for the BNP, no evidence of racist tendencies, but just having your name on the list is enough to cost you your job. Even a policeman doesn't deserve this!

Call me a Thatcherite, but ...

Golliwog. Golliwog, golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog. Golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog golliwog.

Fucking BBC golliwogs.

Oh for the sake of fucking fuck...

Via the delightful and lovely Trixy, this:

The Prince of Wales has been calling an Asian friend "Sooty" for years, it has emerged after the row over his son Prince Harry's use of a racist term.

Really, is this what we have to worry about? I suppose it distracts the feebleminded from Labour's cuntish incompetence, but really, does it matter in the fucking slightest how two adult friends interact in their private life?

Trixy says it best:

Give it a fucking rest. Please.

Just fuck off!

Cunts:

The equalities watchdog will press the armed forces to act to dismantle its "barrack-room culture" in response to the controversy surrounding Prince Harry's use of racist language.

These fuckers risk their lives so that sanctimonious cunts like you can live free, and they risk their lives because sanctimonious cunts like you send them into battles that have nothing to do with them. Stop fucking telling them how to live their lives as well, you hectoring, nannying, interfering, jumped-up CUNTS!!!

Prince Harry "takes after grandfather" shock

The papers are full of it. Personally, I think what a man calls his mates is between the two of them and none of my fucking business.

But Cuntface Dave and all the other indistinguishable trendy progressives are wanking themselves into a faux Righteous fury about it, and Harry has been forced to apologise for something he said two years ago.

Harry, my only regret is that you apologised. I wish you'd told the self-righteous, pompous cunts to go fuck themselves with a rusty spade.

Update: The Lovely Trixy is also unamused, as is the Tedious Old Godbotherer. And probably lots of other people.

What next? Banning Agadoo?

Via Counting Cats, this utter cuntwaftery:

The Hokey Cokey is an old novelty song that has been sung in music halls, at children's parties and at sherry-fuelled family gatherings for many years.

But according to the Catholic Church and some Scottish politicians, singing the popular tune that begins with the words "You put your right hand in, your right hand out," may constitute an act of religious hatred.

A spokesman for the leader of the church in Scotland said the song had disturbing origins.

Critics claim that Puritans composed the song in the 18th century in an attempt to mock the actions and language of priests leading the Latin mass.

Now politicians have urged police to arrest anyone using the song to "taunt" Catholics under legislation designed to prevent incitement to religious hatred.

All I can say is:



What a complete fucking fatuity this is. I don't give a flying fuck about the origins of this terrible song, but rest assured that if it offends a Scottish politician, I will be singing it at the top of my voice every time I set foot in that fucking shithole of a frozen tundra.

Let me further guess that all those "assurances" given at the time of the passing of the fatuous Religious Hatred bill are not worth the spunk in a week-old used condom?

Cunts.

Update: Via the Croydonian in an unrelated post:

This calls for an Emo Phillips joke:

"I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" He said, "Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said,"Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

How to write about Africa: a guide for liberals

Found a fantastic guide on how to write about Africa from an Islington perspective:

Throughout the book, adopt a sotto voice, in conspiracy with the reader, and a sad I-expected-so-much tone. Establish early on that your liberalism is impeccable, and mention near the beginning how much you love Africa, how you fell in love with the place and can’t live without her. Africa is the only continent you can love — take advantage of this. If you are a man, thrust yourself into her warm virgin forests. If you are a woman, treat Africa as a man who wears a bush jacket and disappears off into the sunset. Africa is to be pitied, worshipped or dominated. Whichever angle you take, be sure to leave the strong impression that without your intervention and your important book, Africa is doomed.

Do go read the whole thing, it's absolutely brilliant!

You have entered the Twilight Zone

Deedeedeedee, deedeedeedee ...

WHITE workers should benefit from "positive discrimination" to help them fend off competition from better-skilled immigrants, equalities chief Trevor Phillips urged today.

If there was ever conclusive proof that multiculturalism doesn't work, it's when it's used to defend the "villains".

Hat tip to the Croydonian.

My nipples explode with delight!

Good fucking riddance, you odious little ginger turd:

Sir Ian Blair is expected to announce his resignation as Metropolitan Police Commissioner this afternoon.

Just a pity they couldn't sack the useless, diversity-promoting, snivelling, arse-creeping little goat-felcher.

Let's just hope the next MPC is an actual policeman.

I have a job to do: I am getting on with it and will continue to do so.

Aha! Ah! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Cunt.

Something just went pop in my head

For the fucking cunting fucking sake of fucking cunting fuck:

A row has broken out at the University of Manchester after its students' union toilets were "de-gendered".

Temporary signs have made the "ladies" simply "toilets", while the "gents" have become "toilets with urinals".

The changes are in response to an unspecified number of complaints from trans students who are uncomfortable using the men's toilets.

A university newspaper criticised the move but the student union said it was needed to tackle transphobia.

There are no figures on the number of transsexual and transgender students believed to be among the university's population of more than 35,000 students.

The students' union welfare office declined to reveal the number of complaints, but said it was an important issue.

Welfare officer Jennie Killip told the BBC: "If you were born female, still present quite feminine, but define as a man you should be able to go into the men's toilets - if that's how you define.

"You don't necessarily have had to have gender reassignment surgery, but you could just define yourself as a man, feel very masculine in yourself, feel that in fact being a woman is not who you are."

Christ Almighty, what the fuck planet is this cunt on? How fucking many hermaphrodites* are there on this campus anyway? Why the fuck does everybody have to kowtow to the wibble of a handful of infinitely confused cockmongers anyway?

My best guess? Jennie Killip has photos of the Chancellor or someone sucking the oversized clitoris of a transgender.

Bunch of fucking cunts.

*I know they're not hermaphrodites.

Quote of the hemidemisemisecond

The real test [of intelligence] comes when MENSA ask you for money so you can have an 'I am clever' badge. If you hand it over, you fail.

Too true.

Who's in charge?

Who's actually running the show here? Because Douglas Carswell, MP, reckons it's not parliament. Most of the rants I've had recently about nanny state interference have involved councils, not government legislators. We have councillors usurping and abusing anti-terrorist laws to spy on made-up rules about waste collection, we have unelected bodies like NICE telling us what drugs we can get out of the huge sums we piss out on the NHS every day, we have elfin safety telling us what kind of goggles we can wear in swimming pools.

And it's not just the egregiously fascist Labour Party that espouses this kind of shit at lower levels. "Call me Dave" is nominally the leader of the Tories, but when Tory-led Cuntcils indulge in this kind of petty fascism, "Call me Dave" just says, "It's got nuffink to do wiv me."

Anybody who thinks things are going to be better under the Tories is sadly mistaken.

Meanwhile, MPs are too busy feathering their own nests and shoring up their gold-plated pensions to give a rat's arse about what happens outside the Westminster Home for the Terminally Feeble. They like to see themselves on telly looking statesmanlike, but they won't expend the slightest effort on stopping the impending train wreck. Meanwhile, further down the devolved (but entirely unaccountable) power chain, unelected organisations, faceless cuntcils, civil servants and charities all vie to see who can fuck the man in the street a) the hardest and b) around the most.

Sooner or later it's going be pitchforks, tapers, piano wire and lamp posts. And these jumped-up little Hitlers better watch out, because we're not going to stop until every single one of the little fuckers is swinging in the breeze. And "just following orders" didn't work in the late 40's, it sure as fuck won't work with us.

Some of us are already angry. When too many of us get angry, you're going to have to hope that what you're doing to us today was worth it.

Something for Harriet Harman

See what happens when you "rescue" prostitutes?