Boo hoo: the Child Trust Fund

Predictably, "the left" are up in arms about the axing of the Child Trust Fund. Hopi Sen has leapt in with a predictably "witty" tweet, saying that "Osborne looks remarkably relaxed about cutting his trust fund, or did I mishear something".

Ha bloody ha, Mr Sen. That's right up there in the Liam Byrne school of comedy.

The reality of the situation is this: people can already save tax free for their kids, simply by opening up a savings account for children at their local bank. OK, so it loses its tax-free status two years earlier, but big fucking deal.

Oh, and the £250 pounds now and if you're a potential Labour voter an extra £250 pounds now is going to be worth probably half that when you're 18 and we're still paying for Gordon Brown's scorched earth.

Plus, that £250 or £500 now is not money that the government has to give to someone. They have to borrow money from someone else to dish it out. If you were on the bones of your arse and it was some stranger's birthday, would you go to the bank and borrow money just to give them a present? Or are you not clinically insane?

Jaw-dropping

Fascist? Us? Never!

Down in Brighton for Labour Party Conference one thing that was noticeable was the large amounts of alcohol consumed over the weekend - and not just by the conference delegates.

Most people are responsible users and are able to have a few drinks and enjoy themselves without causing damage to either others or the local environment.

However, not all drinkers and users of other substances are able to handle their use of booze in such a responsible manner. At weekends, most A&E departments house those suffering from alcohol poisoning, assaults and drink related accidents. It takes much needed resources from the NHS which could be used for other purposes.

Prohibition of alcohol, like any other drug, does not work. It was tried in the 1920s in the US and resulted in making the likes of Al Capone rich men.

One possible solution could be an entitlement card that people would carry and swipe when every time they buy Alcohol or Tobacco and record their usage. Is that too radical? I don't think so. For a long time the Government have controlled motorists with a system of licences where people enjoy the right and freedom to drive - as long as they conform to certain rules.

With the card, people who got into trouble for, say, minor crimes or drunk and disorderly conduct in public would receive a fixed penalty notice and 3 points on their entitlement card with points disappearing over time for in the same way works on driving licences.

More serious offences would result in endorsements on the entitlement card and the cardholder would not be able to purchase alcohol, tobacco or other drugs available for sale through the entitlement card scheme.

The main benefits of the policy would be reduction in the health care and crime costs associated with use of substances hopefully leading for more better functioning society.

Holy fucking fuck! What? The? Fuck? Huh? Jesus fuck, did this cunt really just suggest that we need state sanction to buy a beer or a fag? And punishing us for damaging ourselves?

Fucking WHAT? WHAT? AAARGH! I think my brain is trying to leap out of my skull and strangle this fucking little fascist cunt weasel. I'm fairly certain this cocksucker is nasty little middle-class Guardianista who secretly wanks over the Daily Mail.

That, my friends, is the Labour Party, the party that looks after the common man. Because clearly, the common man cannot be trusted to look after himself.

Tip of the clown wig and a dropped jaw to Old Holborn. I'm certainly not linking to such egregious fascism myself.

Labour: the smell of desperation

Via Mrs Dale, I see that Labour have come up with another brilliant election-winning strategy:



Someone should tell these fuckwits that every time they do something this fucking stupid, God kills a kitten.

Idiots.

Dick Murphy: lunatic

Fucking hell:

Three cheers for Peter Wilby’s timely call for a radical reform of the tax system, and not least for an end to the myth, so convenient to high earners, that progressive taxation is a disincentive to effort and innovation. And while we’re about it, why not ditch the negative concept of taxation as a "burden" and talk about "the privilege of taxation" instead? I’m quite sure that those of us at or below the average income of around £23,000 a year would be delighted to be taxed at 50% if our taxable incomes were more than £50,000 a year, never mind the government’s rather pathetic 45% for incomes over £150,000. It’s time our highly paid politicians got real.

What fucking planet do these cunts live on?

Call Me Dave and Blu Labour

Plus ça change, plus c'est la meme chose:

David Cameron signalled that the rich would have to pay “their fair share” to rescue the economy from the mounting crisis in the public finances.

It was made clear that hundreds of thousands of top earners would face paying the new rate — which Labour will also introduce after the election if they hang on to power — if Mr Cameron enters Number 10.

Yeah, you go for that, Dave. Nice bit of dogwhistle politics designed to attract Labour knuckledraggers.

Why not fucking slash public spending and let us keep more of our money, you utter fucking cunt?

And once again I can't believe my eyes

For the fucking sake of fucking fuck:

THE government is to cut the national speed limit from 60mph to 50mph on most of Britain’s roads, enforced by a new generation of average speed cameras.

The reduction , to be imposed as early as next year, will affect two thirds of the country’s road network. Drivers will still be able to reach 70mph on motorways and dual carriageways and 60mph on the safest A roads.

Jim Fitzpatrick, the roads minister, defended the plan, which will be the most dramatic cut since 1978, when the national speed limit was reduced from 70mph to 60mph.

Well, Jim, you little cock-sniffing weasel, rest assured that you have just beaten Gordon Brown for my vote of "first up against the wall come the revolution", matey.

For fuck's sake, what is wrong with this government that if feels the only way to fix anything is to be more draconian and more restrictive? And what the fuck is wrong with the great British public that we just sit there and fucking take it?

I HATE THIS FUCKING HECTORING, BULLYING, FASCIST GOVERMENT. You fucking cunts can't get face cancer soon enough for me.

Update: Facebook group here.

Update 2: Hoon of the year, done and dusted:



I see the useless cocksniffer is Scottish. Of course.

Update 3: Please sign this.

Holy FUCK!

I swear to God, I am not making this up:

Chris Cowin has won our first "commenter of the week" prize (a bottle of House of Commons champagne) for this insightful metaphor. Well done, Chris!

"Gordon Brown can be compared to the driver of a bus which has been travelling a rough and bumpy road. On taking the wheel, he promises the passengers that from now on the road will be smooth and there will be no more "Boom and Bust". He drives carefully along a fine new highway and all is well. But then a storm breaks out and the bus is buffeted from side to side. The passenger s at the back complain loudly that they were misled, that it is just as uncomfortable as before - but Gordon must not waste time arguing with them. He has to concentrate on driving the bus."

This is apparently so fucking good that it merits a bottle of Pol Roger from Labour Party coffers.

Update: the source of this appalling Brown-nosing.

"Killing innocent people is OK", says Dave Spart

For my part, I lined up with that section of the Labour left, headed by Ken Livingstone, which cultivated ties with Sinn Fein. While we hedged our support for ‘the armed struggle’ in ‘the six county statelet’ with this or that qualification, nobody in principle doubted that the IRA had some sort of moral right to utilise ‘the armalite’ as well as the ballot box against the British army.

Reconsidering the question nearly 30 years on, I still understand the logic of that position.

No wonder the left lionizes Guevara and Stalin and Mao, while denouncing Hitler. People can and should die because of socialism. It's only when they die because of fascism (is there a difference?) that it's bad.

Update: Doh!

What next? Banning Agadoo?

Via Counting Cats, this utter cuntwaftery:

The Hokey Cokey is an old novelty song that has been sung in music halls, at children's parties and at sherry-fuelled family gatherings for many years.

But according to the Catholic Church and some Scottish politicians, singing the popular tune that begins with the words "You put your right hand in, your right hand out," may constitute an act of religious hatred.

A spokesman for the leader of the church in Scotland said the song had disturbing origins.

Critics claim that Puritans composed the song in the 18th century in an attempt to mock the actions and language of priests leading the Latin mass.

Now politicians have urged police to arrest anyone using the song to "taunt" Catholics under legislation designed to prevent incitement to religious hatred.

All I can say is:



What a complete fucking fatuity this is. I don't give a flying fuck about the origins of this terrible song, but rest assured that if it offends a Scottish politician, I will be singing it at the top of my voice every time I set foot in that fucking shithole of a frozen tundra.

Let me further guess that all those "assurances" given at the time of the passing of the fatuous Religious Hatred bill are not worth the spunk in a week-old used condom?

Cunts.

Update: Via the Croydonian in an unrelated post:

This calls for an Emo Phillips joke:

"I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" He said, "Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said,"Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

Matt Davies of the Woking Libertarians raises another nanny state classic:

Daily Fail

In the latest initiative designed to make us more environmentally friendly, Government advisers are calling on businesses to appoint tea monitors to make sure staff don't overfill the kettle at work.

The quango Envirowise is also telling workers to use teapots when making rounds of hot drinks and is calling for a return of old-fashioned tea urns.

Envirowise - which gets £10million a year from taxpayers to advise businesses on being green - says the crackdown will cut greenhouse gas emissions and help beleaguered businesses save money.

Critics pointed out that in the current testing economic times, small firms had bigger problems to worry about than tea bags.

Susie Squire of the TaxPayers' Alliance said: 'This is yet another example of a taxpayer-funded quango doling out useless advice. People are sick of these quangocrats wasting our time and money.'

Envirowise - which is funded by the Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs - estimates that more than 30billion cups of water are unnecessarily boiled each year.

Could you make this up? Oh no.

Now once again, most people paying attention will know that most of these quangos, and indeed DEFRA itself, basically report direct to our masters in Brussels.

Is is 10 million (stolen from the the taxpayer) worth it?


Is it fuck. The only people who should be funding this, IF, they want to, is the business themselves. They have to fund the energy bills and if they want to take an environmental line, that is up to them too. Robbing people to fund this kind of utter shite, is morally repugnant.

Yep the EU is the source of this shit, but they wouldn't be able to do this, if it wasn't for the traitors we have in Westminster.

1984 isn't an instruction manual. Let's hope the 1984 campaign reminds them of that tomorrow.

I'm personally not that optimistic ...

This is it.

OK, so this is what the Twilight Zone is like:

Mandelsnake back in the cabinet.
The great caravanner back in the cabinet.
Sion Simon in the cabinet.

That's all pretty bad, right? But the final nail in the wooden cabinet of the living dead?



This is beyond fucked, into a territory I can't begin to describe ...

Minister for Skills

This is not a joke. Gorgon Brownshirt has actually appointed this prattling arsemonkey as a fucking CABINET MINISTER!

Update: Seems like LabourHome are big fans of Sion, too. Gordon has really excelled himself this time.

Hat tip to Guido.

Something just went pop in my head

For the fucking cunting fucking sake of fucking cunting fuck:

A row has broken out at the University of Manchester after its students' union toilets were "de-gendered".

Temporary signs have made the "ladies" simply "toilets", while the "gents" have become "toilets with urinals".

The changes are in response to an unspecified number of complaints from trans students who are uncomfortable using the men's toilets.

A university newspaper criticised the move but the student union said it was needed to tackle transphobia.

There are no figures on the number of transsexual and transgender students believed to be among the university's population of more than 35,000 students.

The students' union welfare office declined to reveal the number of complaints, but said it was an important issue.

Welfare officer Jennie Killip told the BBC: "If you were born female, still present quite feminine, but define as a man you should be able to go into the men's toilets - if that's how you define.

"You don't necessarily have had to have gender reassignment surgery, but you could just define yourself as a man, feel very masculine in yourself, feel that in fact being a woman is not who you are."

Christ Almighty, what the fuck planet is this cunt on? How fucking many hermaphrodites* are there on this campus anyway? Why the fuck does everybody have to kowtow to the wibble of a handful of infinitely confused cockmongers anyway?

My best guess? Jennie Killip has photos of the Chancellor or someone sucking the oversized clitoris of a transgender.

Bunch of fucking cunts.

*I know they're not hermaphrodites.

Who needs the EU to make blogging illegal?

The Italians are already leading the way:

Italian bloggers are up in arms at a court ruling early this year that suggests almost all Italian blogs are illegal. This month, a senior Italian politician went one step further, warning that most web activity is likely to be against the law.

The story begins back in May, when a judge in Modica (in Sicily) found local historian and author Carlo Ruta guilty of the crime of "stampa clandestina" – or publishing a "clandestine" newspaper – in respect of his blog. The judge ruled that since the blog had a headline, that made it an online newspaper, and brought it within the law’s remit.

The penalties for this crime are not onerous: A fine of 250 Euros or a prison sentence of up to two years. Carlo Ruta was fined and ordered to take down his site, which has now been replaced by a blank page, headed "Site under construction", and a link directing surfers to his new site. Hardly serious stuff – except that he now has a criminal record, and his original site has disappeared.

The offence has its origins in 1948, when in apparent contradiction of Article 21 of the Italian Constitution guaranteeing the right to free expression, a law was passed requiring publishers to register officially before setting up a new publication. The intention, in the immediate aftermath of Fascism, may have been to regulate partisan and extremist publications. The effect was to introduce into Italian society a highly centrist and bureaucratic approach to freedom of the Press.

A further twist to this tale took place in 2001, with the realisation that existing laws were inadequate to deal with the internet. Instead of liberalising, the Italian Government sought to bring the internet into the same framework as traditional print media. Law 62, passed in March 2001, introduces the concept of "stampa clandestina" to the internet.

Truly the inmates, etc.

Something really is wrong, isn't it?

Well, shiver me timbers:

Following a recent spate of pirate attacks* off the Horn of Africa, reportedly Her Majesty's Royal Navy has been powerless to act following official concern over possible violations of the buccaneers' human rights - and worries that they might seek asylum in the UK after being captured.

The rest of the article doesn't make it any better.

Darling declares war on City's risk culture

Via Samizdata, this:

The Chancellor pledged to clamp down on the City's culture of rewarding undue risk-taking and will soon reveal plans to tighten market regulations.

For fuck's sake. Meanwhile, in the real world:

The fact that insurance companies refused to insure property located on storm-wracked coasts is not an instance of market failure. A market failure supposedly occurs when the price of goods and services do not reflect the true costs of producing and consuming those goods and services. That's clearly not what happened here. The market is practically shouting at people, "Don't build something you can't afford to lose where hurricanes periodically crash ashore."

Instead the state "insurance" scheme is an example of government failure which occurs when a government intervention causes a more inefficient allocation of goods and resources than would occur without that intervention. In this case, it's the government that's telling people that it's OK to build in dangerous areas and then not charging them enough for the "insurance."

In what way does the cunt think that businesses are keen to fire up risky ventures? Businesses would rather have a sure thing any day of the week. All this fucking around with derivatives and the like stems from regulation stopping businesses from offloading their risk in a transparent manner, so they create new financial instruments that bundle up the risk in obscure and exciting ways and sell it off.

So what is old badger brows going to do? He's going to create more regulation, leading to even more complex derivatives, leading to more risk-hiding, leading to more speculation, leading to ...

The first unintended consequence of banning shorts

Yes, it's already started:

the likes of John Mack have implicitly conceded that there's simply no way they'll be able to issue any kind of convertible bond for the foreseeable future.

How's that? Investors in convertible bonds are perfectly happy to put up new money, but they invariably short the underlying stock at the same time. It's called convertible arbitrage, and it's popular enough that there's almost no room in the convertible-bond market for anybody else. Any bank trying to issue a convertible bond into a market where short-selling is banned would be doomed to fail.

There is pain, and there is pain. You can slow the pain down or push it out to a different point, but sooner or later it's going to bite and the further you push it out, the more it's going to hurt. Some day, not too far from now, we're going to see the real consequences of banning shorts.

And it won't be pretty.

Update: NEXT!

Words fail me

Via Mrs Dale:

Town hall bureaucrats could soon dictate what homeowners grow in their gardens. The measure is one of 52 ways to cut household waste suggested in a report commissioned by the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs. Restrictions on fast-growing plants, trees and flowers could be brought in by "including gardens in building regulations" it said.

I've read that over and over again, and I can honestly say that it seems to imply that the government is going to try and tell me what I can and can't grow in my garden. Along with telling me I can't smoke in my own house or car, what I can and can't eat, read, watch or do in my spare time.

Is there no fucking area these cunts don't feel like they can stick their noses in?

Well, come on boys. Come have a go at telling me all these things to my face, if you think you're hard enough.

It's twats all the way down

Counting Cats in fine form:

“This is deranged fuckcuntery and David Williams is a dimwitted bastard who probably still needs nursey to wipe his pig-ignorant arse after he’s done potty”

More here. I'd wanted to blog it, but I can't top that.

Punishment fits the crime, eh?

Gosh, I don't know, wasn't this one of those Magna Carta-y thingummies? That the punishment fits the crime?

A man found guilty of illegally keeping wild birds in his garden shed has been banned from driving for four months by a district judge.

I swear, I am not making this up. This bugger, who frankly sounds as daft as a brush, was caught illegally keeping birds, couldn't prove anything, bang to rights, all fine.

District judge Jill Watkins said as he was on benefits and a "man of limited means" [remember this] she would punish him with a driving ban as a deterrent to others.

A driving ban? What the cunting fuck was this dozy cow smoking? How is a driving ban in any way, shape or form, a relevant punishment for keeping birds illegally? What's next, a Chinese burn for littering? A donkey punch for failing to stop at a traffic light?

Remember the "limited means"?

She also ordered him to pay £1,000 towards the prosecution costs.

Not that fucking limited, then.

Am I being unduly cynical or paranoid when I wonder if driving bans are going to be the de rigeur future punishment of choice for left-leaning, eco-wibbling, but above all fucking stupid judges?

Hat tip is due to fuckweasel for this one.