From the vaults (an occasional series) - Keep Left, Pass Right

It's so simple really, isn't it?

Keep left when you're not passing, and pass on the right hand side of the road. An instruction so simple, a toddler can grasp it. So, then, why in the name of all that is holy is it beyond the mental acuity of grown men and women once they get behind the wheel of their cars?

I have just been out on the motorway. No rush, just wanted to increase my consumer whore post count. I lost count of the number of people who, to be entirely honest, looked like TOGs / GOMs: fifty-ish, balding, all wearing specs, all FUCKING SITTING IN THE MIDDLE LANE OF THE MOTORWAY AT 60MPH.

Now, given that drivers around the UK universally moan about the state of the roads and the traffic burden they carry, and given that almost everyone has by now heard that if everyone obeyed the keep left / pass right rule, it would be equivalent to a 30% increase in road capacity, why then is it so difficult to obey the fundamental rule of the road?

Personally, I would support summary execution of cunts who don't. Especially today.

Originally posted here.

From the vaults (an occasional series) - Turds -- A User's Guide

I thought I'd get this out of my system...

The Normal Turd

You sit down, it slips out, you wipe, you carry on with your life.

May or may not be whiffy.

The Morning After

You run for the toilet, not knowing whether to sit, kneel or stand, collapse in a cramped, agonised heap which is followed by a volcano-like eruption of molten magma from your anus. Miraculously, the spray of liquid shit defies the laws of physics, often making its way out of the toilet bowl completely. Often, streaks of brown are found on the toilet walls after one of these.

Wiping is usually as wasted effort, as the touch of paper makes your distended ringpiece convulse and eke out a few more drops.

Best followed by a shower and a hose down of the loo.

Stinks like fuck, usually burns your eyes as well.

The Black Flag

This is something only heavy Guinness drinkers know: the black paint that covers the paper of a night on the black stuff. The iron overdose usually means you don't feel too bad, though.

Smell depends on the accompanying meal.

The Lion Bar

This is one that always makes me go "what the fuck...?" It feels like a handful of chopped peanuts has been used to coat the turd. Very uncomfortable, but otherwise a Normal Turd.

The Goat Droppings

Fuck knows what causes this, but sometimes I do, in fact, push out a bunch of nice, firm pellets.

Doesn't seem to smell at all.

The Inverted Cornetto

I fucking hate this one. Some mornings you wake up, park on the crapper and then discover that your turd has formed a thick, unmovable crust at the ringpiece end. Getting this fucker out is generally quite eyewatering but once the hard, chocolate-covered end with nuts has stretched your rectum to birth-giving proportions, the rest of the cunter just slips out, having given you arse a seriously painful stretch.

I don't know if it smells or not, I'm usually too busy trying to use my legs.

Originally posted here.

From the vaults (an occasional series) - Steam Packet, my festering arse!

What a bunch of bungling fuckwits ferry companies are. Got up at the crack of dawn, drove for fucking hours to get to the ferry on time, and when you get there, you discover that all the organisation is done by Larry, Curly and cunting Moe. First of all, their queue management would not have disgraced a Spaniard, as every other queue got sent forward around me (including the first half of my queue!) I eventually wound up being one of the very last cars to get on the cunting fucker, even though I was one of the first people to arrive for the rust-eaten shitpile. And when I say eventually, I mean fucking cunting eventually. It took them nearly an hour to unload about forty cars.

All I wanted was to have a quick breakfast, grab a quiet seat and then catch up on missed sleep. Fat fucking chance. The fuckers had cocked up the cunting generator on board, so there was nothing to eat. While the inbred scousers were fixing this, we also could not set sail. So I sat there like a cunting twatspaz for half an hour, unable to even nod off thanks to the captain's repeated "courtesy announcements", cunningly timed to blast out across the fucking rustbucket every time I was just nodding off. The noise of the engine turning over and the annoucements made bits of the ferry rattle delightfully, adding to my already excessive pleasure.

After an extended delay, we finally got going and I got breakfast. A barely edible toasted roll, a snip at a mere fiver. Thieving fucks!

I then headed off to the "Quiet Lounge" where I only had to contend with 18 screaming children and a fat scouse slapper yelling at the top of her voice, the stupid fucking cow. What kind of cunt takes his kids to the Quiet Lounge, for fuck's sake? And what kind of stupid fucking whore insists on bellowing out her conversation in the Quiet Lounge?

I suppose I should be grateful that I got through Liverpool's rush hour traffic without having my wheels nicked, though.

Originally posted here.

From the vaults (an occasional series) - Make Poverty History

[snap]

Every three seconds

[snap]

A ponce in his white shirt

[snap]

Clicks his fingers

[snap]

Trying to make you feel guilt

[snap]

What a fucking crock of shit, eh? Fucking white shirts, all the same, to take your mind off the fact that most movie stars and rock stars are multi-millionaires who could personally undo a large chunk of world poverty. But why should they, when cunts will happily fork out a chunk of their own cash on some amorphous goal for the greater good?

I mean, how many people texting for their tickets actually stopped to think about the fact that they weren't donating the premium rate funds to starving kids, but actually just funding the rock concerts? I mean, if Bob and co were that fucking fussed about it, why wouldn't they stick their hands in their own cunting pockets, instead of ours for a change? The biggest bands in the world couldn't afford to put the show in out of their own pockets? So, what did the fuckers contribute? Their valuable time. In exchange for the kind of publicity you can't fucking buy!

And that's just the gig. Let's see what other valuable contributions Mr Geldof has made: trying to incite a major riot on Edinburgh, advising kids to skip school to protest, and a vapid "manifesto" that could have come from a university's socialist union:

TRADE JUSTICE. DROP THE DEBT. MORE & BETTER AID.

Today, the gap between the world's rich and poor is wider than ever. Global injustices such as poverty, AIDS, malnutrition, conflict and illiteracy remain rife.

Despite the promises of world leaders, at our present sluggish rate of progress the world will fail dismally to reach internationally agreed targets to halve global poverty by 2015.

(Yeah? Well, maybe something more pressing came along in their own countries.)

World poverty is sustained not by chance or nature, but by a combination of factors: injustice in global trade; the huge burden of debt; insufficient and ineffective aid. Each of these is exacerbated by inappropriate economic policies imposed by rich countries.

But it doesn't have to be this way. These factors are determined by human decisions.

2005 offers an exceptional series of opportunities for the UK to take a lead internationally, to start turning things around. Next year, as the UK hosts the annual G8 gathering of powerful world leaders and heads up the European Union (EU), the UK Government will be a particularly influential player on the world stage.

(Oh, will it now? How will hosting a group of politicians increase our influence over them? How will a six-month leadership of the EU influence them in any way? I think it all sounds like a load of bollocks, and if I was a cynical person, I would say that this whole thing and the opportunistic way that Nyoo Layber have jumped on the bandwagon smells like a Peter Mandelson-contrived way of rebranding the fuckers as caring, understanding, nineties-types all over again. The fuckers.)

A sea change is needed. By mobilising popular support across a unique string of events and actions, we will press our own government to compel rich countries to fulfil their obligations and promises to help eradicate poverty, and to rethink some long-held assumptions.

(Excuse me, but exactly which cunting obligations are these? We live in countries that can get their act together {albeit to a limited extent} and so therefore we are obliged to bail out countries that stand by and let themselves be governed by thieves?)

MakePovertyHistory urges the government and international decision makers to rise to the challenge of 2005. We are calling for urgent and meaningful policy change on three critical and inextricably linked areas: trade, debt and aid.

Trade justice
Fight for rules that ensure governments, particularly in poor countries, can choose the best solutions to end poverty and protect the environment. These will not always be free trade policies.

(What the fuck??? So, what they want is for the first world to spread their cheeks for the third world to do whatever they want? Hmmm, does that sound like one of Gordon Brown's ideas?)

End export subsidies that damage the livelihoods of poor rural communities around the world.

(Probably the only useful thing in the whole manifesto. But this requires the French to give up their enormous CAP subsidies. Isn't that weird? Exactly what Tony Blair has been saying. Still, must just be an enormous coincidence.)

Make laws that stop big business profiting at the expense of people and the environment.

(OK, now this is where it all starts to go off the rails a bit: what, exactly, does the environment have to do with world poverty? Where does big business fit into this? And isn't it ironic that employees and lackeys some of the world's biggest businesses are putting their names to this?

Here is a hint, you dumb cuntfucks: big business eradicates poverty. It employs millions of people around the world. Sure, the cunters don't enjoy an idyllic lifestyle, but for fuck's sake -- neither do I. You need more business, not less. All this bullshit about exploiting child labour and not paying the minimum wage: that, surely, is a matter for the country concerned -- if they don't have a minimum wage, then they should vote for the party that will introduce one. Actually, the lack of a minimum wage just opens the labour market, once employment is "rife", people will have to get paid more.)

The rules of international trade are stacked in favour of the most powerful countries and their businesses. On the one hand these rules allow rich countries to pay their farmers and companies subsidies to export food destroying the livelihoods of poor farmers. On the other, poverty eradication, human rights and environmental protection come a poor second to the goal of 'eliminating trade barriers'.

(Funnily enough, most big businesses want to see the elimation of trade barriers.)

We need trade justice not free trade. This means the EU single-handedly putting an end to its damaging agricultural export subsidies now; it means ensuring poor countries can feed their people by protecting their own farmers and staple crops; it means ensuring governments can effectively regulate water companies by keeping water out of world trade rules; and it means ensuring trade rules do not undermine core labour standards.

(So, how does the EU removing agricultural subsidies differ from having free trade? )

We need to stop the World Bank and International Monetary Fund (IMF) forcing poor countries to open their markets to trade with rich countries, which has proved so disastrous over the past 20 years; the EU must drop its demand that former European colonies open their markets and give more rights to big companies; we need to regulate companies - making them accountable for their social and environmental impact both here and abroad; and we must ensure that countries are able to regulate foreign investment in a way that best suits their own needs.

(Yes, because they haven't been salting away nearly enough of their fucking aid in Switzerland already, have they? )

Drop the debt
The unpayable debts of the world's poorest countries should be cancelled in full, by fair and transparent means.

(Hey, that's a cool idea! Let's all run up huge fucking credit card debts and then when we can't afford to pay it back, we'll just ask Bob to hold a concert for us! That will work, won't it?)

Despite grand statements from world leaders, the debt crisis is far from over. Rich countries have not delivered on the promise they made more than six years ago to cancel unpayable poor country debts. As a result, many countries still have to spend more on debt repayments than on meeting the needs of their people.

(Actually, I thought most countries actually had had their debt written off or were about to very shortly. Good thing I'm not cynical about the timing of all this shit, because if I were, I'd be inclined to think that they had scheduled this gig at a point where it might look like they'd made a difference. I also thought the debt write off was conditional upon the cunters getting their houses in order, or would uncle Bob like us to just keep chucking money at the bastards until we're as poor as they are?)

Rich countries and the institutions they control must act now to cancel all the unpayable debts of the poorest countries. They should not do this by depriving poor countries of new aid, but by digging into their pockets and providing new money.

(Ah! of course! We'll just keep digging into the pockets of the richest governments in the world, not forgetting that governments don't actually have any cunting money as such -- so when they reach deep into their pockets, those slimy hands force their way into ours! Now, I don't know about you, but I reckon I pay enough fucking tax already, and I don't get good value from my tax money as it is. I really can't see why I should be subsidising thieving cunts in Africa and Asia as well.)

The task of calculating how much debt should be cancelled must no longer be left to creditors concerned mainly with minimising their own costs. Instead, we need a fair and transparent international process to make sure that human needs take priority over debt repayments.

(It's easy to see how wiping out the debt will eradicate misery and hunger around the globe. Oh, no -- actually, it isn't. And what a cunting surprise, eh, creditors wanting to minimise their costs! Here we are giving these cunters billions of dollars, they renege on their payments and we get taken to task? What were we thinking? )

International institutions like the IMF and World Bank must stop asking poor countries to jump through hoops in order to qualify for debt relief. Poor countries should no longer have to privatise basic services or liberalise economies as a condition for getting the debt relief they so desperately need.

(Yes, let's just let the same old corrupt practices of nepotism, bribery and corruption carry on -- that's a much better way of ensuring justice for all those starving fuckers, eh? )

And to avoid another debt crisis hard on the heels of the first, poor countries need to be given more grants, rather than seeing their debt burden piled even higher with yet more loans.

(What the cunting fuck?!?!?!?

So, just to make sure I've understood this cunter correctly: we've just wiped out billions of pounds of debt, just pissed that money down the drain, and now you want us to give the cunters some more??????

Dear Bob and company:

GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

)

More and better aid
Donors must now deliver at least $50 billion more in aid and set a binding timetable for spending 0.7% of national income on aid. Aid must also be made to work more effectively for poor people.

($50 billion more from our back pockets? And 1% of our fucking national income? FUCK THAT! I'd rather have that 1% go into my pension fund or into drugs or loose women. I sure as FUCK do not want to be funding some corrupt African despot with my fucking money.)

Poverty will not be eradicated without an immediate and major increase in international aid. Rich countries have promised to provide the extra money needed to meet internationally agreed poverty reduction targets. This amounts to at least $50 billion per year, according to official estimates, and must be delivered now. Rich countries have also promised to provide 0.7% of their national income in aid and they must now make good on their commitment by setting a binding timetable to reach this target.

(Why don't you issue a binding timetable to fuck off and die, you cunts? Where is your cunting contribution to all this, if you feel so fucking passionate about it? Why don't you sell off all your stuff and give the money to them, you cunts?)

However, without far-reaching changes in how aid is delivered, it won't achieve maximum benefits. Two key areas of reform are needed.

First, aid needs to focus better on poor people's needs. This means more aid being spent on areas such as basic healthcare and education. Aid should no longer be tied to goods and services from the donor, so ensuring that more money is spent in the poorest countries. And the World Bank and the IMF must become fully democratic in order for poor people's concerns to be heard.

(This actually made me fucking snort with laughter. Did any of these cunts actually do any kind of logic at school? What the fucking, fucking FUCK does the democracy or otherwise of the World Bank and the IMF have to do with how aid is distributed? Why the cunting fuck should they hear what the poor people's concerns are?)

Second, aid should support poor countries and communities' own plans and paths out of poverty. Aid should therefore no longer be conditional on recipients promising economic change like privatising or deregulating their services, cutting health and education spending, or opening up their markets: these are unfair practices that have never been proven to reduce poverty. And aid needs to be made predictable, so that poor countries can plan effectively and take control of their own budgets in the fight against poverty.

(OK, how about his YOU STUPID CUNTING FUCKS???? America: richest country in the world, privatised and deregulated to fuck, minimal public health and education spending, open markets. Does that fucking prove that these unfair practices reduce poverty? )

MakePovertyHistory is a unique UK alliance of charities, trade unions, campaigning groups and celebrities who are mobilising around key opportunities in 2005 to drive forward the struggle against poverty and injustice.

(Yes, a bunch of shit-stirring lefties {as long as it doesn't impact their own pocket} along with empty-headed fucking numpties who are all just in it to fucking up their media profile by tagging along with some fucking noble-sounding, but utterly specious and fatuous fucking codswallop.)

The only useful thing these cunting fucks achieved was to reunite Pink Floyd on stage.

And for that, I'll forgive the cunters all of the above.


Originally posted here.

The Two Cockwavers

I bet this is going to piss them right off.

(Did you see what I did there?)

From the vaults (an occasional series) - Buon giorno, do you speak Italian?

What is it about motorways services and these fuckers, eh?

You have been driving for hours, desperately need a piss and a cup of coffee and you stop off at the nearest motorway services. On the way in, a budget car (Micra, Arosa, Astra) with a very well-presented (clean-shaven, immaculately coiffed, groomed and fragranced) and charming Italian bloke stops you and says "Buon Giorno! Do you speak Italian?"

When you say "Sorry, no, I don't" he apologises for his poor English. He then proceeds to claim that he is a rep travelling for an Italian fashion house (Versace or whoever) and he has a boot full of stuff left over from a show that he needs to get rid of. "It's-a all genuine!" Of course it is, you lying fuck.

The first time, I was very polite and patient until the bloke got far enough into his pitch for me to realise that something dodgy was going on (about a minute). I hurriedly made my excuses and left.

(He also caught me way off guard by fucking being in a Chatteris petrol station! I sure as fuck didn't expect this kind of shit in the middle of the oo-ar fens!)

Today I was in Sandbach or Kuntsford or somewhere like that when I was accosted. At first, I stopped because I thought it was a lost tourist, but as soon as he said he was from a fashion house, I just held up my hands and walked away. Over coffee, I watched the fuckers prowling round the car park like a pack of fucking vultures, looking for a stupid scouser or inbred villager to thieve from.

What sort of retarded cunt falls for that shit? Why the fuck can't the services shut the cunts down? Or call the police or something? They must know it's going on.

Still, I did get a nice Dolce & Gabbana leather jacket out of them.

Originally posted here.

From the vaults (an occasional series) - The US Grand Prix tyre fiasco

I realise that this may be another of my "specialist rants", but fuck it, I really have to get this one off my chest:

ITV's fucking coverage of the US Grand Prix was the most blatant attempt at trying to brainwash its audience I've ever seen. It was that cunting bad, that I actually felt sympathy for Bernie Ecclestone, a total cunt and oxygen thief with billions of pounds in the bank and a hot babe for a wife -- and a 75-year-old poison dwarf to boot!

So Michelin (who supply the tyres for most of the cars in F1) didn't do their fucking homework on the Indy circuit and pitched up with a 747-full of useless fucking tyres, fit only for recycling into black condoms. Now, the rules clearly say what you can and can't do, and everyone had equal amounts of time to prepare for this little fiasco. But no, the cuntflaps arrive with the wrong tyres, not only that, but of all the options they brought, not fucking one of them was suitable.

Catastrophe! Three quarters of the cars run on Michelin. So, we get hare-brained compromise suggestions:
1. Michelin cars start from the back of the grid and promise not to go too fast, so that the tyres don't blow up at speed. What fucking cunt dreamed that one up?
2. Stick a chicane in the middle of a bend, just before the start of the race, and let no-one have a chance to practice. Christ almighty, sure, I'd fucking go into a race like that. Cars aren't set up for it, no-one's tested it -- sounds like a right old fucking winner to me!

Fucking ITV are only piously waving the cunting flag of righteousness because they know how this is going to fuck up their viewing figures. And that fat cut Martin Brundle actually tried to put Ferrari in the frame as being the people who stopped a compromise -- what a fucking tampon of a cuntstain he is. He must have been utterly gutted when Jordan's boss vindicated them entirely, the stupid fuck -- you could hear the disappointment in his sad little voice.

All the fucking Michelin drivers and team bosses were quick to say how they would have been up for a compromise, but when Bridgestone had to pull their cars from a previous Grand Prix, they had fuck all to say then. Neither did mister sanctimonious fucking Brundle.

ITV also tried to hint that the only reason Bridgestone didn't have the same fuckup, was that their US division, Firestone, had told them about the new surface a month ago and that this implied some dodgy underhandedness. Here's a clue, Michelin: the fucking road surface is not a national secret -- you can fucking see it on television footage.

There was all this fucking moaning about a hollow victory -- what a crock of shit -- Bridgestone kicked Michelin's arse so fucking hard, they didn't even get off the starting line. How? By doing their fucking homework for a race that would be watched by hundreds of millions of people.

Fucking cunts, wake up: the teams chose the cunting tyre manufacturer, the tyre manufacturer didn't do their cunting homework, the only people you can blame are fucking Michelin. Everyone else did their job.

Now fuck off and get over it, you stupid fucks!

Originally posted here.

Motorvation: an occasional series

Fin.

From the vaults (an occasional series) - Now you see him, now you don't

OK, here's my peeve of the day: why is it that all the fucking nanny state road safety ads pick on cars and drivers?

Example 1: Now you see him, now you don't. Well, if the cunting fucktard stayed on the correct side of the road and wasn't fucking lane-splitting and diving past in the face of on-coming traffic, I'd fucking see the cunt all the time, wouldn't I? And if he chooses to overtake me when I have my indicator on, well, whose fucking fault is that? Fucking cyclists and motorcyclists think they can do whatever they fucking want on the road, and it's up to the stupid old tax-fucked motorist to sort it all out.

I don't mind that bikers have the opportunity to lane-split and do all the shit the fuckers get away with, but I don't see why I should shoulder the responsibility for it when it goes wrong. I'm fucking sick and tired of getting the hairy eyeball from some fuckwit on a bike because I didn't ramp up onto the pavement to get out of the way while he's coming toward me on my side of the road.

Example 2: If you travel at just 35 MPH in a built up area, you too can drive over a kid who walks out into the path of an oncoming car. Well, cuntflaps, why the fuck don't you teach the inbred fucktard that it's fucking dangerous to step out in front of an oncoming car? And let's make it even more plausible by disconnect the rear brakes on the car we use in the advert so it doesn't stop in time. Because, ladies and gentlemen, modern cars, even my repmobile rust buckets, are quite capable of crash stopping in a shorter distance than that mandated by the Road Traffic Act, and so could quite comfortably travel at 35MPH and still stop in the time they're supposed to.

Same thing with pedestrians -- yes, they have right of way, but not when the retarded cockbiting fucktards step out into a busy road without fucking looking. And when that little green man goes away and the red one appears, cuntflaps, it means it's my fucking turn to go and not your turn to try and get across the road.

How about some adverts that say, "Don't ride your bike like a cunt and you might not die" or "Only stupid fucktards walk out into busy streets against a red light"?

Cunting fucks, the lot of them.

Originally posted here.

From the vaults (an occasional series) - The Renault Megane Scenic

OK, so those of you who have been around for a while may be aware that I do a fair bit of driving, and I'm probably not the most patient person in the world. I have been known to indulge in a fair bit of verbal abuse of drivers of most brands and models.

Lately, however, I've repeatedly noticed an interesting phenomenon: it seems that one of the pre-requisites for the purchase of a Renault Megane Scenic is a severely diminished IQ and a complete inability to be decisive about anything once you've bought the cunting car. I've been amazed, it doesn't matter if it's a rusty old tip or a brand spanking new top of the line model, they all fucking dither worse than Arsey [long may his miserable soul rest in peace!] trying to choose a new zimmer frame. And then of course, when it comes to turning into a side road across oncoming traffic, the size of the gap required by these retarded cuntfucks is unbelievable. Even the bus driver this morning hooted at the stupid bitch to get a fucking move on.

This afternoon, my journey out of town to the old park and ride was twice fucked for a ridiculous length of time (15 minute journey took 20 -- a 33% fucking increase!) by two cunting Megane Scenics. But the thought of being able to drop the roof of my car and blast home calmed me down by the time I got off the bus. Only to find that some dumb ass-felching fucktard had parked so close to my car that I could not get in. I had to remove the roof entirely (an aggravating task in an old car) so that I could clamber in from the other side. And the car that parked me in was?

A CUNTING FUCK OF A SHIT PILE FUCKING RENAULT WHOREMOBILE MEGANE SHITBAG FUCKING SCENIC!!!

I think I'm going to start setting fire to the cunting things on principle.

Cunting FUCKS! CUNTING, CUNTING, CUNTING FUCKED FUCKING SHIT-BRAINED FUCKWITTED PISSFLAP SHITMOBILES!!!

Originally posted here.


Update: So I'm out in the penis extension today, enjoying some country lanes and balmy weather and at the far end of a mile-long straight, what do I see coming towards me, desperately trying to overtake a white van? Trying, and failing.

I took my foot off the accelerator. Then I braked gently. Then I braked a little more. Then I moved half onto the hard shoulder. Then I pulled completely off the road and stopped (not as easy as it sounds, the hard shoulder wasn't even as wide as my car!)

The bovine expression on the driver of the said car as he drove by, engine straining mightily, ignoring me completely, seemed to imply that it was only right and just that everyone else should get out of his way as he performed his annual overtake.

(Oh, and the white van driver who wouldn't let him overtake - you are a weapons-grade cunt as well.)

Motorvation: an occasional series

From the vaults (an occasional series) - Everything

I have reached a point of utter fucking despair: I am now waiting (with some trepidation, I must admit) for the advent of the Goths and Vandals that will signal the end of Western civilisation and bring in a new Dark Age. I see a lot of parallels with the end of the Roman era: widespread and outrageous decadence is preferred to any kind of fucking self-restraint; cunting leadership which is far more interested in things that benefit them than any kind of pretence of moving their countries forward in any way, shape or form; nothing left to conquer; no goals or aspirations left to inspire us and no fucking drive to do so, even if there were such goals. (Just recently I read a moan about conquering space -- what would you rather we do to stretch ourselves, recolonise the third world?)

There are so many symptoms of this fundamental malaise:

Children now have to be fucking bribed to stay in school, and those children who want to learn aren't the ones getting bribed -- instead, we bribe the disruptive cloth-eared twats who spoil it for everyone else, to remain in school.

Criminals are no longer punished for their crimes, they are given the most mild slap on the wrist and scum are given status symbols of their thuggery to parade around in front of other scum, like ASBOs or tagging devices. How fucking limp is that?

Lazy people are encouraged to do nothing except breed more lazy people, as the state dishes out more and more money to people for doing less and less useful work. Why bother to get any kind of job and do something when you can get by comfortably by doing fuck all?

Specious grandiose "projects" like the European Union and various government departments exist to hoover up more and more of our money, building enormous edifices on the shakiest of foundations for no useful reason and influencing our lives in unjustifiable ways.

It may well be that humanity can only ever progress in this way, driving forward in advance, until individual survival and making life bearable are reached at a personal level, and then our inherent stupidity kicks in and we start addressing "greater goals", like caring for the weak and infirm, those people that would naturally be destroyed by the harsh realities of life, leaving humanity stronger and more vibrant. Eventually, we start sapping our resources, people get distracted from achieving things, achievement itself becomes unimportant; the drive to achieve itself is considered suspect and then the whole quagmire implodes, leaving us vulnerable to destruction from another culture, which is still striving to reach those goals and still has the drive and urgency to conquer.

In the same way that Germany lost the war but won the peace, especially in the new, peacefully "integrated" Europe (aka the Fifth Reich), I wonder if Islam, which ostensibly lost the wars of the Middle Ages will do the same thing over the longer term? Historically, it seems that a certain degree of brutality and narrow-mindedness is always a pre-requisite for progress, and by the rather slack mores of Western civilisation, that certainly seems to be the case with Islam. Certainly, the Christian church is about as useful as bitchtits on a man when it comes to providing any kind of moral or other sense of direction these days.

Or will it be a resurgent Asia, with China flexing its muscles and India taking all our jobs? Will we be the first civilisation to hand over our world in the quest for this quarter's numbers? Yes, because we always regard success with suspicion, we must always get our value from our shares, mustn't we?

With the burgeoning advent of state care and control of every aspect of our daily lives, did we really win the battle against communism, or did the evil overlords just get all clever in how they dressed it up? You can't tell me that someone like the Sainted Gordon is not really just an old-school communist in disguise. Nor is that grinning fuck-faced cunt who is out to destroy the symbols and values of a thousand years of history.

All I know is that our need for progress has died, any kind of values have become irrelevant and outmoded, achievement has become something to mock rather than admire, and all focus has become solipsistic. It has become de riguer to regard any kind of success as a form of thuggery over our own ineptitude, rather than look at ourselves and our inadequacies sensibly.

I'm scared to encourage my own daughter to make something of her life, lest the NSPCC or Social Services take her away from me for brutalising her. What fuck is wrong with us?

Originally posted here.

While the cunt is away ...

... I thought I would keep you entertained with some of my earlier rage-fuelled rants from the age before I discovered blogging and in some cases before I even discovered I was a libertarian. I've also included a handful of guest posts.

Feel free to comment here or to comment on the source site. Or just ignore it, like you usually do.

Parish Notice

I will be here, there and everywhere until next Friday. Liveblogging and twattering will be extremely sporadic, so I've lined up some crap from my dim and distant past that will hopefully keep you entertained until my life settles down again.

Motorvation: an occasional series

Spot on!

Over at the Two Cockwavers:

• The focus is on the citizen, not the criminal or potential criminal - the police are taking the line that it is the actions of the citizen that are in question, not the thief.
• By targeting the citizen, the police are sending the message that the act of theft is less morally wrong, and the absent-mindedness of the citizen is more questionable.
• By emphasising security, the police reinforce the message that low crime days are over, and that it is hopeless to even consider making society open, warm and safe.

Absolutely correct. The police are no longer interested in policing and the government is no longer interested in us having a society in which we do not feel like we're in a state of constant siege.

Eddie's Teddy

From the day he was born, he was trouble.
He was the thorn in his country's side.
They tried in vain, but he never caused them nothing but shame.
He lost shame when they tried...

From the day she was gone, all he wanted
Was left-wing porn; to fund the IRA
Shooting up junk
He was a low-down, cheap little punk.
Taking Mary-Jo for a ride...

When Teddy said he didn't save Kopechne you knew he was a no-good kid
But when he threatened her life with a sinking car
When he died
Makes you smile
Und I did.

Everybody shoved him, I very nearly loved him
I said hey listen to me, stay sane inside insanity
But he locked the door and threw away the key...

But he must been drawn into something
Making him warn me in a note which reads (what's it say, what's it say?)
"I'm outta my head, O hurry or I may be dead.
They mustn't carry out their evil deeds..."

When Teddy said he didn't save Kopechne you knew he was a no-good kid
But when he threatened her life with a sinking car
When he died
Makes you smile
Und I did.

Rest in absolute misery, you murdering scum.

It's unanimous then ...

Bono is the smuggest cunt in the world.

Motorvation: an occasional series

The solution is worse than the problem

How not to do it:

An internal police report has raised serious concerns about whether CCTV is being used effectively in the fight against crime.

The document, obtained from Scotland Yard using the Freedom of Information Act, reveals that CCTV footage was used to solve less than one crime for every 1,000 cameras in the Capital.

And that's despite the huge amount of money chucked at CCTV:

Each case helped by the use of CCTV effectively costs £20,000 to detect, Met figures showed.

So, we're caught on CCTV 300 times a day and feel oppressed as a result, huge amounts of money are spent on this lazy policing and it's effectively useless? How very New Labour!

Ah! But that's not even the best bit:

"All the cameras around here are high definition zoom, not being laid down to tape or hard drive. And down the road there are just cameras with live views, so unless someone's actually watching them, they're a complete waste of time".

And even if they are watching them, how useful would that be in court?

Britain has 1 per cent of the world’s population but around 20 per cent of its CCTV cameras - which works out as the equivalent of one for every 14 people.

Yep, even the Chinese don't spy on their population like the Brits!

It costs a bloody fortune, gives the filth another excuse to park at a desk, is useless, isn't implemented properly, doesn't stop crime, has a terrible cost/benefit ratio, will be used to justify even more cost and then there's this little thought:

Nor are cameras much good in getting convictions. Evidence from them is only allowed in court if the images are securely stored and handled, so that there is no possibility that they have been tampered with.

Just remind me again why we're doing this at all?

Dannatt: the best defence is ...

... publishing your expenses:

Between April 2005 and March 2009 Sir Richard claimed just £19,291, which included having to entertain the heads of other national armies.

By comparison Bob Ainsworth, the defence secretary, claimed £394,306 in Commons expenses between 2005 and 2008, the latest year for which figures were available.

Hah! That's cunted them entirely. And a bit of drilling down into the expenses makes it even better:

Sir Richard’s biggest claim was £1,540.91 for a supper reception to promote “unit cohesiveness” for 110 people on July 7, 2005. That amounts to just £14 per person.

He also claimed £1,320.81 for a barbecue reception for 120 people which worked out at £11 per head. That was held to welcome the Commander-in-Chief of the German Army.

On one occasion he held a reception for an Indian army chief, with 24 guests, at Kensington Palace and claimed just £123.58, or £5.15 a head. He even used the budget supermarket Lidl to cut costs.

By contrast Mr Ainsworth, as revealed by the Daily Telegraph in June, claimed nearly £6,000 for the redecoration of his second home and submitted bills that included rebuilding the fireplace and fitting oak beams into his ceiling.

Well, I think that the Labour ploy of smearing Dannatt has turned into a spectacular own goal. Hell, my expenses for work for the same period were probably more than 20 grand (albeit that customers and my employer paid my expenses, they weren't extorted from anyone!)

Hell, can you see an MP actually entertaining anyone for £14? That's not even a glass of wine fit for an MP or a starter, let alone an entire meal complete with "refreshments".

I've never had a problem with reasonable expenses, even from the taxpayer kitty. By my standards, I would even describe Dannatt as parsimonious. MP's would do very well indeed to look at the outgoing head of the army to see how things should be done.

Update: The Speccie is scathing.

Bang! And the waste is gone!

I actually have of bottle of this under the kitchen sink, but now I'm too fucking scared to use it:

Decontamination experts at the former nuclear site at Dounreay, northern Scotland, are using the Cillit Bang household cleaner to remove radioactive plutonium stains.

Bang! And the reactor is gone!

Motorvation: an occasional series

Socialist music

Yesterday on twatter, I had a debate with "The War On Culture" about whether left- or right-wing governments produce better music. It's an interesting concept and I hope he decides to bring the debate over to my blog. It started because I took the piss out of one of his twats, leading to the response:

tory govts lead to music that is style over substance..socialist govts to music that is creative and inventive...

I thought that was a curious thing to say. Do musicians really take their lead from the government as to what kind of music they should produce, or does the music just reflect their take on society at that moment? And is a musical form really that closely aligned to a particular left or right-wing government?

Anyway:

psychedelia vs glam...punk vs new romantic .. always more interesting music under socialists!! ;-)

This is a very subjective opinion to start with: was psychedelia really more interesting than glam? Was punk really more interesting than New Romantic? Psychedelia really was an expression in drug-fuelled self-indulgence which is, in my opinion, a most libertarian music form and ironically, it's the only music form which is both a) primarily British and b) is entirely contained within a single government; Labour in the late 60's. So actually, to me, it looks like psychedelia is a complete refutation (by celebrating the wants of the individual) of statism and hence, socialism. I'm bloody sure they weren't thinking about it in thouse terms, though. They were thinking "Wow! Drugs! Chicks! Music! Money! Cool!" But even if my take on the libertarianism inherent in it, psychedelia is pretty much a footnote to musical history and largely irrelevant, apart from the prog rock that it spawned. Under the Tories.

According to TWOC, handily:

yes, floyd, genesis, emerson formed their vision 68/69 under labour rule!!

Gosh, I never realised what a musical debt we owed to Labour. Bands quickly formed all their visions for the next decade under the genial gaze of Wilson before those eeeeeeeevil Tories came to power.

psychdelia was abt limitless experimentation not pure attitude which can only really happen under cultural flexibility..

Looking at Labour's bully-boy history and creation of "denormalisation" over the last 12 years, I wonder how someone can say this with a straight face. But anyway, I don't think that the "limitless experimentation" ended under the Tories.

Furthermore, nobody is buying Piper at the Gates of Dawn any more, and they never really did. Dark Side of the moon, however ...

And glam is still accessible. T-Rex, Bowie, Queen, Roxy Music - were those really less impressive artists than, The Yardbirds, Cream, the Beatles and Pink Floyd in the psychedelic era? The Yardbirds and Cream and the Beatles all made their names elsewhere and for other music. Floyd is a relative rarity because they started as a psychedelic band and went on from there. And really, if Syd hadn't been replaced by David Gilmour (or someone else, even) it's unlikely that Floyd would have been anything but irrelevant today.

Moving on to the assertion of punk being more interesting than New Romantic ... well, that's an interesting assertion considering the wide range of New Romantic music that was out there, but it's also entirely fallacious to say that punk was a product of socialist Britain:

Punk rock developed between 1974 and 1976, originally in the United States

Which, lest we forget, was the (Republican) Ford presidency.

Once again, apart from a very small handful of accessible tunes, how much of punk music is relevant today, compared to New Romantic music? Ironically, Johnny Rotten is personally advertising butter whereas Adam Ant has cannily allowed someone to bring one of his greatest videos back to life courtesy of Pimms. Which one of them has held on to their "artistic integrity" better?

He then went on to say:

punk in US was an attitude...reaction against Nixon

Certainly, musicians rail for or against politicians all the time, but to actually develop an entire new genre out of the behaviour of just one President? Wow. Maybe we need more Nixons.

Every bit of musical history I've ever read has said that punk was a reaction against the prog rock more than anything else. The same jaded, overblown prog rock that TWOC was quite happy to claims as being fully developed and pre-planned entirely under Labour benevolence.

It's interesting to compare my perception of psychedelia as a refutation of socialism with the idea that punk was a reaction to Nixon. I'm not claiming that psychedelics consciously set out to rebel against socialism, I'm claiming that their behaviour was Libertarian: they did stuff irrespective of what the state said. TWOC is claiming that an entire musical genre was spawned directly because of one politician.

I can see individual songs or even in rare cases entire albums having a political objective, but I can't really see any musical evolution as anything other than a reaction to other music. And I really can't see drug-addled musos being disciplined enough to set out an entire musical direction under the benevolent gaze of a tolerant Labour government and not come up with anything useful under the Tories. Especially when the result of most elections is not a foregone conclusion and they don't have any better idea of the future than the rest of us.

If we look at the vast swathes of influential music produced under a largely right-wing American rule compared to the absolute nothingness that came out of socialist Russia and the eastern bloc, I really do struggle to find anything other than wishful thinking in the original twattering.

It's too early on a Monday morning ...

... to be banging my head on the desk over stuff like this:

I have to admit to being fascinated by this development project that The Guardian is running in Katine, northern Uganda. Over a period of several years they're trying to see how and if it's possible to kick start development: a noble and worthy goal.

The Guardian is trying to run a development project? This will be fun!

The fascination comes in part from my not quite understanding the mindset of those attempting to do the developing.

Ah. The game has been given away!

There was one report about how there were not enough desks in the schools: not enough had been delivered by the Government apparently. But, umm, who would assume that in a poor country the Government ought to be delivering school desks? A table is not really all that high technology, a few burly blokes with machetes and a few days work in the woods would knock up something useable wouldn't it? Why this reliance upon the State, some hundreds of miles away over near impassable roads?

Ah, that would have nothing to do with the Guardianistas' belief in the state as the font of all munificence, would it? The idea that individuals could do things for themselves, exercise self-reliance and function without the state providing is completely beyond them.

But of course, with Guardianistas, you just know it's going to get even better.

Another example is this piece about how a Coke (that's as in cola, not Charlie) is available in every village store but medicines are not. Or rather, medicines are indeed available in private stores, but not in the State run health care centres. The end of the piece is:

The new battle is now not just to get HIV medicines to people with Aids, but to get a consistent, affordable supply of essential drugs to all who need them. That means that governments in the west, as well as in developing countries, need to make money available, and turn their attention to supply systems. It can't be left to Coca-Cola barons. It's too important to leave to the market. Not just for Uganda, or Africa, but for all of us.

What the fucking fuck? Coke can do it, private medicine can do it, but the useless dead hand of government can't fucking do it and then you have the audacity to have a go at the market?

What the fuck goes on in the minds of these people? If Coca-fucking-cola can get from its distribution centres out into the sticks reliably and the lazy cunts in government can't (and I can safely vouchsafe on the superlative laziness of African government employees, who make UK government employees look like the Japanese by comparison!) then what is wrong with entrusting it to the nasty market? Do you prefer your ideology to live human beings?

Well, I guess we already know the answer to that, don't we? Socialists would rather let innocent people died than acknowledge the value of the market.

Damn! That really is a good idea!

Via Samizdata, this:

"The fact that compensation would often not be forthcoming either because of inability to catch the offender or inability to pay if caught would motivate us to take out "crime insurance", which in turn would motivate the insurance company to catch such criminals as it profitably could. Criminals would have plenty to fear from these highly motivated companies, who of course would acquire from their clients the right to such compensation as they could exact, at least up to the level of full resitution. It would be interesting to know whether the net effect would be more satisfactory than the current system, but when you consider the all-but-total failure of the punishment system actually employed in, say, the United States and Canada, it is difficult to believe that it wouldn't be a major improvement. Everyone agrees that we have very far to go in the way of improving our system of responding to crime. It is a sobering thought that getting rid of one of the most spectacularly cost-effective systems in the history of mankind short of war is perhaps even less likely to be seriously considered than is abolition of war."

Jan Narveson, The Libertarian Idea, pages 230-231.

One of the few things I think the state should provide is a justice system. But it's blindingly obvious to me that what passes for a justice system in the UK doesn't provide "justice" unless your crime is against the state, in which case the justice is swift and merciless.

So if we allow insurers to go after criminals for crimes against the individual we free the rozzers up for more doughnut-eating and form-filling and hairdryer-waving and protester-bashing, while we "little people" actually get a form of justice. Or they might get jealous and start to actually take care of real crime again. What's not to like, either way?

So I can now even see a role for competition in the justice system. Bloody hell, isn't that a good idea?

Motorvation: an occasional series - The Al-Jahom Special Edition

Clearly a fit bugger

A random thought about the release of the Lockerbie bomber: I've lived through a loved one dying from cancer, and three months from her eventual release from misery, she needed help to sit up in bed. (To be fair, it obviously wasn't prostate cancer!) But damn, he looked in good shape for someone dying of cancer. A bit pale, but then he was in fucking Scotland, wasn't he? I know Scottish lumberjacks who look like ghosts. (Even Oleuanna says she's turning white up there.)

I suspect that actually they knew that he wasn't guilty and this was some sort of fudge to get him out of jail while still pretending that some kind of justice had been served. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if this was some sort of deal whereby he or his family would be minted up and "made", in much the same way that someone who didn't rat on his accomplices would be "blessed" by the Don.

Let's face it, wouldn't you take a deal that required you to sacrifice 8 years of your life to live in the "misery-lite" of a UK prison in exchange for you and yours never having to lift a finger again? Especially if you knew that no-one would ever be able to come after you?

And that eventually evidence would be "found" exonerating you completely, and allowing you to sue your captors for even more money? Wouldn't that really just piss in the face of Once-Great Britain even more? Luckily, I can't see that happening. No, sirree ... no chance of that at all. Ever. Nope. Not at all. Not even a little bit.

Update: The Speccie is really rather cynical about the whole thing.

Sneaky!

The finest British technology

Motorvation: an occasional series

How secure is your browser?

You can learn a lot from the crims here:

Criminals running websites that push drive-by exploits overwhelmingly prefer the Firefox browser, according to a researcher who spent the past three months surveilling their browsing habits.

Mozilla's Firefox was used by 46 per cent of the exploit kit operators who were tracked in the study, according to Paul Royal, principal researcher at Purewire, a company that protects customers against malicious websites. One third of the Firefox users browsed using a 3.0 version, while 13 per cent had upgraded to the most recent 3.5 version.

Interestingly, Opera, which by some measures has only a 2 per cent market share, ranked second among the kit operators, with 26 per cent.

"I think that's probably because operators have a familiarity with the web threat landscape," Royal told The Register, suggesting that many black-hat hackers take a security-through-obscurity approach to making sure they themselves don't get hit. "It makes them wary of using mainstream browsers."

In a nutshell: use Firefox with the NoScript add-in and make your browsing life 90% more secure.

Motorvation: an occasional series

Something to wake up your Friday

Tip of the clown wig to the Daz man.

The Evo 100

The only comment I can make is: why no E28 M5? Everyone who has driven the different M5's agrees that the E28 is the best M5 ever. They could easily have left the V10 off the list instead.

Idiots.

Woof! Woof!

Well done to the Underdog, who has registered a mighty third place in Scottish blogdom, displacing even the mighty Mr E!

Aha!

Fuck. Any wannabe musicians would do well to reflect on how such a sparse collection of sounds combined into such a glorious, overwhelming and seamless whole. The entire current generation of fuckwits, deadbeats, limpdicks and arseholes should hang their pimply useless fucking heads in shame -- this is how real music was made, without all your fucking toys and gadgets.

Farewell to Tripoli

Call me cynical, but in amongst all the frothing about the release of the alleged Lockerbie bomber, something seriously weird is going on. I personally have grave doubts about the legitimacy of his conviction, as does the Devil. But all the froth on Twitter and all the abuse levelled at the Scots for this egregious and unsavoury intervention of the executive into the business of justice has a lot more going on than is apparent to us at the moment.

Firstly, Lord Mandelsnake of Bumfondling and Cock in the cunty of where you live had one of his famous, Geffen-esque lunches with Gaddafi Jnr not all that long ago. I'm guessing that he will be acquiring a nice little villa somewhere warmer in the not too distant future.

Secondly, why would the SNP suddenly and unilaterally decide that this man should be released when there is no political gain for them for it? They have made themselves the target of considerable anger and dismay, not least from their own voters. Alec Salmond may be a cunt, but he's not a fucking cunt - he's a much cannier politician than that.

Thirdly, why has the American response been so muted? You would have thought a man as evil as the Lockerbie bomber being released would get an immediate request for extradition to "Gitmo".

Mark my words, something very suspect is going on here. And as usual, the politicians are lining themselves up for benefits and deals, and us poor fuckers are footing the bill.

Fuck the English, again

Christ, so after a day on the roads, today I had to endure the horror of the British rail system. Why is there always some fucking spaz who feels it's his right to fucking bellow on at the top his voice? Why is there always some fucking boot-faced old munter who thinks it's "cute" or "adorable" to let their fucking hellspawn run riot in the train, screaming at the top of their voices, jumping up and down on the seats and generally causing mayhem?

It's so fucking loud it not only gets through the doors in first class, but also through my noise-cancelling fucking headphones.

You don't see this shit anywhere else in Europe, unless, of course, you happen to have the misfortune of travelling with other Brits. Why are we as a nation so fucking unpleasant and uncivilised?

Motorvation: an occasional series

FUCK THE ENGLISH!

I swear to God, I felt like Harry Potter going through the barrier on platform 9 3/4. There I'd been on the A74(M) and as it turned into the M6 and I arrived in England, a whole sea of other cars suddenly materialised out of nowhere.

And they were all cock-sucking motherfuckers. Especially the cuntwaft in the Jewish Racing Gold Mitsubishi Colt CC, who could see another car on the horizon and would not get out of the right-hand lane until he passed it, three fucking days later. And his fucking family were all out on the road too.

The absolute highlight of the day was the fat old munter in the white van, who decided that my indications that I wanted to get past her old shitheap merited giving me the finger, along with a whole bunch of verbal as I passed her when she eventually deigned to get out of the way. She kept pointing at her steering wheel or something, I'm guessing she was trying to tell me not to speed.

Well. Here's the thing, see? I have a satnav, and it gives me a more accurate speed reading than the speedometer in your shitty old rustbucket Ford Transit. And the real issue here is that you arrogantly sat in the overtaking lane for 15 miles TRAVELLING AT FUCKING 65 MILES PER HOUR IN A DUAL CARRIAGEWAY NATIONAL SPEED LIMIT, YOU DAFT FUCKING MOOSE!!!

THE rule of the road is "Keep Left". Even if your speedo reading gives you a massive rush of cuntjuice to the brain, it's still "keep left". you fat old fucking harridan.

Motorvation: an occasional series

Holy cunting fuck!

Once again via the dizzmeister, a real fucking shocker:

The NY Times reports,

Scientists in Israel have demonstrated that it is possible to fabricate DNA evidence, undermining the credibility of what has been considered the gold standard of proof in criminal cases.

The scientists fabricated blood and saliva samples containing DNA from a person other than the donor of the blood and saliva. They also showed that if they had access to a DNA profile in a database, they could construct a sample of DNA to match that profile without obtaining any tissue from that person.

This news doesn't just undermine DNA usage in crime investigation, it also undermines any claim to the protection of identity through the use of DNA. If you can somehow gain access to a DNA profile then you could, in theory, create the means to pass yourself off as that person.

Fucking hell, is that seriously fucking scary or what? Does that render every single DNA-justified conviction unsound? I bet the filth are shitting themselves about this one!

Fuck that, nigger!

Tip of the clown wig to dizzy.

Motorvation: an occasional series

It always works for me

The newest members of the 213 Clicc?

Just another night in chez Clown...

We're all going to die!

Suppose, for a moment, there is a God. Suppose you are called in when you die, to account for your life.

God: So, I gave you a life. What did you do with it?

Ghost: Well, I spent most of the time worrying about dying.

God: You're a dick. Next.

I can't argue with that!

Vote early, vote often!

Inspired by the Indy, I've decided to run a poll for "the smuggest cunt in the world", feel free to cast your vote!

Dreams

Damn, as dreams go, that was a good one: ambivalent good guys and bad guys, sexual intercourse with a spaceship, telepathy and telekinesis and short skirts all over the place. And it all made perfect sense at the time!

Strange how it all falls apart when you wake up and start thinking about it though. And a pity.

Motorvation: an occasional series

Top 20 Libertarian Blogs

As voted for in the Total Politics poll and linked by Constantly Furious:

1. Guido Fawkes


2. Devil's Kitchen


3. Old Holborn


4. Obnoxio the Clown


5. Underdogs Bite Upwards


6. Tim Worstall


7. Samizdata


8. Boatang & Demetriou


9. Dick Puddlecote


10. LPUK Blog


11. The Last Ditch


12. Constantly Furious


13. Anna Raccoon


14. Freedom to Choose


15. Rantin' Rab


16. Plato Says


17. Charles Crawford


18. An Englishman's Castle


19. Frank Davis


20. Oxford Libertarian Society

Class!

We gave Clarence a few gentle shakes to wake him up, then after asking how he was feeling, me and Fabian Wildman beat the shite out of him.

Heh.

Even Trixy can't defend him any more

Surely?

As The Daily Mail reports, when asked by presenter Matthew Parris whether terrorism can ever be justified, Miliband stated:

“Yes, there are circumstances in which it is justifiable, and yes, there are circumstances in which it is effective.”
“The importance for me is that the South African example proved something remarkable: it looked like a regime that would last forever, and it was blown down.”
“It is hard to argue that, on its own, a political struggle would have delivered. The striking at the heart of a regime’s claim on a monopoly of power, which the ANC’s armed wing represented, was very significant.”

Er, hello? Is that an open invitation to Al Qaeda or fucking what? Come here David, I have a practical use for that banana.

You useless, gurning fuckwit.

Do NOT fuck with the ref ...

... he's clearly got the biggest swinging dick in the ring!



Tip of the clown wig to oleuanna.

Update: In a similar vein:

A false dichotomy

I can't understand why all these people who bang on about the NHS being great make it sound like the American system is the only alternative. The litigious American health care system is better than ours, but is more expensive per capita. But there are many other systems out there, and some Tories have actually suggested something which sounds fairly similar to my own thinking.

But really, don't pretend there's only the NHS way or the US way - there are better options out there!

Motorvation: an occasional series

Emotive bollocks

The Indy wanks itself into a coma:

They came in their thousands, queuing through the night to secure one of the coveted wristbands offering entry into a strange parallel universe where medical care is a free and basic right and not an expensive luxury.

Er, hello? Are you implying that the NHS is free? By my very rough, back of the envelope calculations, every taxpayer in the UK pays an average of £3200 per annum for the NHS. I can get the very highest level of private insurance cover for about a sixth of that. Chuck in the same again for paying directly for primary health care visits to the GP and prescriptions, and the average taxpayer is paying about 3 times as much as I should for health care. Now, I know that I can't really generalise like I have, but really, how does it make sense to pay £3200 for £1300's worth of service and then still fucking claim to like it because you see it as "free". (And would that I, personally, was only paying £3200 into this cuntish system. I pay a lot more than £3200 in, but I reckon I still only get about £600's worth out of it.)

For fuck's sake, by all means, defend this shitty system, it is your right to hold that opinion, but please just be fucking honest about the costs.

An idiot writes

Stick to dispensing the drugs:

The healthcare will be as expensive as you make it. If you are paying for it you will start to scrutinize your therapeutic interventions more closely. You will have to eliminate waste. Ask your healthcare professionals. They know where the wastes are in the system. They will save you money without compromising your quality of health. With strong leadership, you can start to spend your healthcare budget on interventions that makes real difference to people's lives.

Doesn't that make your soul wither? Let's start with the "if you are paying for it": we are paying for it, but there's no connection between what you pay and what you get. The NHS, by making things free at the point of delivery is actually the worst possible mechanism for pricing. There is no incentive (or even possibility) of you shopping around to get the combination of price and service that suits you best. Your service provider has no incentive to innovate or differentiate or improve anything, because he has complete monopoly. So, you're paying a set amount irrespective of your personal health, your risk appetite, your desires, etc. and in exchange for that you get whatever health care a committee feels they can afford or, even better, whatever health care the government dictates you can get.

I'm sure that Americans scrutinize their therapeutic interventions much more closely than we do, already. I mean, right now, who cares if we do an operation or not? Apart from the guy getting operated on. Who hasn't heard of operations being rescheduled at the last minute because of some bogus issue which hides either incompetence or the fact that the trust needs to save the money for the operation this month so that they can operate within their budget?

And isn't it amusing that there is a presumption of significant waste within the system? I mean, any business has waste, which is why redundancies are a feature of modern business life. Redundancies are a way of allowing a business to re-optimise itself and do more (or the same) with fewer people (and fewer assets, as a consequence.) When was the last time you heard of a program of redundancies in the NHS? Does that make you wonder how much inefficiency is in the NHS?

And strong leadership? Is that what you really, really want? I mean, Mao, Franco, Stalin, Hitler and Mussolini were all strong leaders, but they didn't really do much for their countries, did they?

And it gets even better:

I am personally encouraged by what is coming out of the big pharmaceutical companies. They are beginning to understand that they have a social responsibility. It is not all about profits to shareholders. A number of them are now consolidating their positions. They want to be part of the solution not the problem. They now know what they have to do. And if they want to innovate and they ask you for help, it is within your rights (and power) to develop a system which will provide the pharmaceutical companies with opportunities to innovate. It can be done and it is being done. What will you rather have your pharmaceutical companies doing? Supplying drugs to you on the strength of an effective marketing campaign or on the strength of a great product? It is in everyone's interest for the pharmaceutical companies to develop new innovative drugs.

Oh dear. I think your faith in big pharma is entirely charming, but oh so very misguided. What has happened is that big pharma has decided that rent-seeking, by sucking up to government, is easier than doing what they used to do. Why bother going through all that fol-de-rol of creating new drugs when you can make as much money or more for your shareholders by sucking up taxpayer money?

Given the amount of drug regulation that goes on, is this man really saying to us that we buy drugs because they're well-marketed rather than because they work? Isn't that a rather damning indictment of drug regulation, which is, let's remember, an adjunct of the wonderful NHS? Or is he perhaps just talking out of his arse? I couldn't say, but either way it's not a ringing endorsement of statist health care, is it?

I'm fucking amused by the shameless hypocrisy of this Labourite, economically illiterate cock-sucker at the end of all this, endorsing The One's principles of health care. Because the very first of these is:

1. Guarantee Choice

The NHS offers the population of the UK a fantastic choice: take it or leave it, but you're fucking paying for it either way. If you want lubrication with that, you're going to have to buy it yourself - sucker!

Small but important difference

Georgie boy:

Large City bonuses should be outlawed in banks that have received any sort of government guarantee, according to the shadow chancellor, George Osborne.

Badger Brows:

ALISTAIR DARLING is ready to legislate to curb City bonuses amid mounting public anger about the return of huge rewards for bankers.

The chancellor has signalled that he will change the law to ensure executive bonuses are not paid to employees whose transactions put banks at risk.

The new rules would cover the whole British banking system rather than just those institutions that have been partly nationalised, such as the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) and Lloyds.

See, now this is just fucking stupid. I thought Osborne was out of line, until I read the bit about government guarantees. I agree entirely, if you're sucking at the taxpayer teat, then flamboyant bonuses are not appropriate. This will have some rapid consequences: the brightest and best of the bankers won't go anywhere near state-owned banks and thus they will either wither and die or they will move heaven and earth to get away from government support so that they can continue as before.

However, as to the badger-browed fucking Trot twatspaz, what you really want to do is to tell the banks that if they fuck up again, they're going to go to the wall by themselves. You can't fucking create an enormous moral hazard like you did by bailing out the useless fuckers and then expect them not to take the piss. You really deserve to spend the rest of your miserable life in a fucking gibbet with crows pecking at you for your complicity in that.

You fucking retard.

Motorvation: an occasional series

Boatang and Demetriou - an apology

I would like to accept the award for highest new entry in the field of libertarian blogging on behalf of John and myself.

Sorry, lads.

Though I don't class Guido as a libertarian in any way whatsoever.

Well, I think he's a bit libertarian. But probably more conservative.

Hannan and the NHS

It seems that Labour are wanking themselves into an utter coma about Dan Hannan daring to be critical of the NHS. I suspect that if people listened to what he actually said, they would be disappointed with the anodyne nature of his observations.

Let me make a few random comments based on my experience of health care in the third world.

• Firstly, I am quite used to paying at the point of service.
• I am also quite used to fucking off and seeing another doctor if I don't like the way I'm being treated (or not.)
• Finally, I am also quite used to paying for health insurance.

This has several consequences:

• I don't go to see my doctor frivolously, because I know it's going to cost me.
• My doctor is glad to see me and interested in my problem, because he knows that if he fixes it, I'll come back next time I'm sick.
• My doctor is also quite keen to own the treatment as far as possible, because he knows that just sending me off to a specialist will earn him nothing.
• My doctor knows that if he doesn't make excellent and visible progress in treating my problem, I will get annoyed and go elsewhere.
• My doctor knows that if he keeps me waiting for my appointment every time I go in there, I will fuck off to another doctor who can manage his fucking diary.
• I have a safety net that will cover me if it really does all go badly wrong.
  

My experience of the first-world health care offered by the envy of the world is very different:

• People go see the doctor for things that should entail a visit to the pharmacist. Especially if they can then get their cough mixture or Panadol on the taxpayer.
• My doctor quite literally doesn't care if I live or die, as long as I've been in for my 10-minute slot. If I die, he has a whole bunch of other involuntary supplicants who can take my place.
• My doctor has no real interest in fixing me, especially if he can string out a whole series of 10-minute slot-fillings.
• If I actually want to be cured, I have to ask to be sent to a specialist.
• I always wait more than 30 minutes after the scheduled time before I actually get in to see the cunt.
  

I was amused by a defender of the NHS, who said that her local PCT often offered public consultations and seemed very keen on finding out what the public wanted from them. I countered that with observations of the third-world health care from the same country, which we had both experienced. The doctors there wouldn't dream of consulting the public about what they wanted because they were already too busy delivering exactly what the public wanted: doctors that fucking do their job in a cost-effective manner.

The British deification of this shambolic, expensive clusterfuck is nothing more or less than a malevolent manifestation of "Not Invented Here" Syndrome - any alternative cannot be as good because it's not British. Well, I've tried other health care systems and they have all been better than the NHS.

The NHS sucks donkey cock. End of.